Look How They Massacred My AWK

When your operating system's account gets compromised but your userbase is too valuable to alienate. Classic market demographics at work - turns out the Venn diagram of "Linux enthusiasts" and "people who type UwU unironically" is just a circle. The admin tried to escape, but you can't sudo your way out of this dependency hell.

The perfect metaphor for the Vim user in every dev team. While everyone else is silently mourning the death of simplicity in text editors, that one developer just has to announce their undying loyalty to Vim. It's like a funeral for normal editing workflows, and the Vim enthusiast still can't resist the urge to tell everyone about their 47 custom keybindings and how they can delete a word with "diw" faster than you can reach for your mouse. The coffin might as well contain the remains of productive team discussions that don't devolve into editor wars.

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of spending 4 HOURS writing a script instead of suffering through 3 hours of mind-numbing manual labor! 💅 The DRAMA of it all - spending an EXTRA HOUR just to avoid clicking the same button 5,000 times like some sort of digital hamster on a wheel! But honey, that's not wasted time - that's an INVESTMENT in your sanity and future laziness. The script will be there tomorrow, but those 3 hours of your life? GONE FOREVER. Besides, what kind of self-respecting developer manually does ANYTHING that could be automated? The HORROR!

The programmer's paradox in all its glory! This is the hill we die on - spending 5 hours writing a script to automate a 5-minute task, then celebrating like we've discovered time travel. The best part? We'll probably never need to do that task again, making our automation masterpiece completely useless. But hey, it's not about efficiency—it's about the principle of never doing manually what could be catastrophically over-engineered instead. This is the way.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of spending 30 HOURS automating a task that takes 3 MINUTES to do manually! But darling, that's the hill we die on! 💅 The banner says it ALL: "We do this not because it is easy, but because we thought it would be easy." The AUDACITY of our optimism! The DELUSION of our time estimates! Sure, I could just do the task 600 times manually before breaking even on my automation investment, but where's the DRAMA in that? The THRILL of overengineering? The pure ECSTASY of writing a script that will save me time in some hypothetical future that will never come?!

Nothing converts an atheist faster than trying to install Arch Linux. One minute you're confidently typing commands, the next you're on your knees begging any cosmic entity that might exist to save your terminal from descending into dependency hell. For the uninitiated, Arch Linux is basically the CrossFit of operating systems - its users never shut up about it, and installation requires the perfect combination of technical skill, patience, and blind faith that something will eventually work. When that cryptic error message appears after your 47th attempt at configuring your bootloader, even Richard Dawkins would start lighting candles and making sacrifices to the command line gods.