Look How They Massacred My AWK

Unix wizards know the truth—the cat command doesn't just display file contents, it summons actual felines from /usr/bin . Running it without arguments clearly produces one standard-issue cat, while piping to a pink bucket gives you the deluxe model. Next time your code breaks, try sudo cat for root-level troubleshooting powers. Just remember to feed them after debugging or they'll delete your semicolons when you're not looking.

You start with such bravado. "I'm gonna switch to Linux! No more Windows bloat! I'll compile my own kernel!" Then reality knocks you flat on your ass when you spend six hours trying to get your Wi-Fi driver working only to discover your graphics card isn't supported. The confidence-to-competence pipeline is brutal in Linux land. That water bottle isn't hydration—it's tears from trying to remember if it's sudo apt-get or sudo apt install for the fifth time today.

The left panel shows the calm before the storm: "cat steps on keyboard." No big deal, right? WRONG. The right panel reveals the horrifying aftermath: "vim is in normal mode." For the uninitiated, Vim's normal mode is where random keystrokes become powerful commands. A cat's chaotic keyboard dance is essentially executing a series of unintended operations—deleting files, replacing text, or summoning eldritch horrors from the void of your codebase. It's like giving a toddler nuclear launch codes, except the toddler is fluffier and has zero remorse for destroying your 3-hour coding session.

The Linux paradox in four frames! First, the enthusiastic pitch: "Use Linux!" Next, the enticing selling point: "You can configure everything!" But then comes the brutal reality check—twice for emphasis: "You have to configure everything." It's that moment when you realize your freedom to tweak every system parameter is simultaneously your prison sentence. Sure, you've escaped Windows updates, but now you're spending three hours configuring your wireless drivers and questioning your life choices. The facial expressions perfectly track the journey from Linux evangelism to the thousand-yard stare of someone who just compiled their kernel for the fifth time this week.

Ah, the irony of Microsoft documenting how to install PowerShell on Linux! It's like finding installation instructions for a vegetarian restaurant inside a steakhouse. For years, Microsoft and Linux were sworn enemies—Steve Ballmer once called Linux "a cancer." Fast forward to today, and Microsoft is teaching you how to use their tools on their former arch-nemesis's platform. That's like Darth Vader writing a guidebook on how to build a better lightsaber for Luke. The real kicker? Most Linux admins would rather eat their mechanical keyboard key by key than use PowerShell when they have perfectly good Bash. It's the documentation equivalent of building a bridge that nobody asked for and nobody will cross.

The galaxy brain moment when you convince yourself that spending 48 hours automating a task that takes 20 minutes is somehow "efficient." But let's be real—we're not doing it to save time. We're doing it because manually repeating the same task feels like psychological torture, and writing that script gives us the same dopamine hit as solving a puzzle. Sure, we'll never recoup those hours, but our fragile programmer ego can't handle the thought of doing something "the easy way." It's not laziness, it's... "future-proofing."