Vim Has Been Banned Recently

Ah, the classic "how to become a hacker" fantasy where knowing Vim is somehow equivalent to martial arts. This satirical masterpiece mocks those cringe-worthy "elite hacker" guides by combining actual technical concepts (DNS, root zones) with absurdly theatrical nonsense. The author brilliantly escalates from "learn Vim" to an international conspiracy involving the ICANN key holders (who are real, by the way), then devolves into a fever dream where Linux fanboys throw penguin-shaped ninja stars while Darude's Sandstorm plays dramatically in the background. My favorite part? The Nokia 3310 nunchucks—because nothing says "elite hacker" like weaponizing indestructible phones from 2000. It's basically what happens when someone watches Mr. Robot after chugging five Red Bulls and falling asleep with their mechanical keyboard as a pillow.

Full hazmat suits required for Vim extraction procedures. The desperate scribbling of "ESC :q!" is the universal distress signal among developers. Containment protocols dictate maintaining a safe distance from terminals running Vim without proper exit training. Some say the original developer is still stuck in there since 1991.

The ultimate programmer flex: telling someone to "use vim keys" instead of arrow keys. This meme perfectly captures the elitism of Vim users who navigate with hjkl and look down on the peasants using arrow keys. The reply "Skill issue" is the programming equivalent of "git gud" - because obviously your testosterone levels are directly proportional to your ability to memorize keyboard shortcuts from the 1970s. Next time someone complains about tiny arrow keys, just stroke your neckbeard and whisper " I use Vim btw " while maintaining uncomfortable eye contact.

The bell curve of IDE preferences shows the full spectrum of developer evolution. On the left, junior devs with barely enough experience to compile "Hello World" happily use free text editors. In the middle, the financially masochistic mid-level devs shell out hundreds for JetBrains subscriptions and swear their productivity justifies it. Meanwhile, on the right, battle-hardened senior devs who've seen IDEs come and go have circled back to Vim or some obscure terminal-based editor they've used since the Clinton administration. The truly enlightened know that paying for an IDE is just Stockholm syndrome with syntax highlighting.

Spotted in the wild: the elusive Vim purist, a developer so hardcore they've rejected modern comforts like autocomplete, AI assistants, and even search engines. This rare specimen navigates Arch Linux solely through cryptic man pages while typing raw code on a battle-scarred ThinkPad. It's like watching someone choose to chisel code into stone tablets when everyone else is using power tools. The "psychopath" label might be harsh, but let's be honest—this is the same energy as someone who insists on churning their own butter while living next door to a grocery store.

The perfect Vim soundtrack doesn't exi— Oh wait, it does! A Spotify playlist for Vim users with song titles that perfectly capture the existential crisis of first-time Vim users: "What Am I Doing Here" - every developer's first thought after accidentally opening Vim "How Did I Get Here" - the moment of panic sets in as you realize normal keyboard shortcuts don't work "Can't Get Out" - the universal Vim experience of frantically trying to exit (hint: it's :q!) "Asdfjkl;" - just random key mashing hoping something works The 1246 saves represent all the StackOverflow searches for "how to exit vim" that have saved countless developer careers.