She Is For The GUI, Not The Terminal

Everyone's having a normal day until that one developer casually SSH's into production as root. Nothing says "I choose chaos" quite like bypassing all security protocols and jumping straight into prod with admin privileges. Meanwhile, the kid who's probably responsible for this disaster is just sitting there with a smug grin, holding his juice box while the entire office has a collective heart attack. Security best practices? Never heard of 'em.

Content AN ENGINEER HELPING A DESIGNER NO PROBLEM, WE CAN FIX THIS ON THE TERMINAL WHOA, YOU'RE A HACKER! NO, IT'S JUST THE TERMINAL. WHERE ARE ALL THE BUTTONS, ICONS, AND DROPDOWN MENUS? IS THIS. THE MATRIX? YES. PABLO STANLEY

Content Function Purist (must contain digital data) Function Neutral (must contain information) Function Radical (can contain anything) Database Alignment Chart Access Purist (must be queryable with a query language) Access Neutral (must be queryable with a language) Access Radical (queryable in any way) X Excel is a database PostgresSOL is a database 670 Dwarf Fortress is a database senora Libror Centi A library is a database A senior engineer is a database A file cabinet is a database A fridge is a database Battleship is a database Subway checkout counter is a database

Content Who was the first person you had sex with ? Me: listOfPeopleIHadSexwith.get (e); Exception In thread "main" java. lang IndexOutofBoundsException; Index: 8, Size: 8 at java .util. Arraylist. rangecheck (Unknown Source) at java.util. ArrayList.get (Unknown Source) at sortingalgorithns. Main.main Main. java:34

Content Our entire software validation stack fucking sucks. What do we do about it? Automation! let's abandon our reliance on ancient unsupported legacy infrastructure. We should unifu around a common set of industry standard tools We should require unit tests to provide even just double digit code coverage. let's package our repos so they can be deployed in containerized environments. Do code Document our external devendenciesa

Content Java Developer Aclat, Incorporated Posted: Sep 29, 2014 DIVISION IT APPROXIMATE 40 Hrsweek HOURS PER WEEK COMPENSATION Paid TYPE DURATION 6 Months QUALIFICATIONS Any Degree DESCRIPTION JavaScript, also known as Java for short, is a scripting language that allows interactivity on websites. For instance, Java allows users to see different images Employer Profile based on where they scroll or click their mouse on the site. Java developers are the experts who work closely with team members, end-users and vendors to test and create websites that are easy to navigate for web visitors. Java developers are responsible for programming JavaScript on commercial websites to create moving images, drop-down menus, animation and different sounds and music. These professionals also work closely with JavaScript to enable security settings that validate users and process business transactions. Java developers frequently communicate with their management team and end -users to ensure that the scripting language addresses user and business requirements, improves website functionality, and enhances the overall design and usability of the site. Other duties for java developers include gathering and documenting user requirements, analyzing data and conducting unit and quality assurance testing. Java developers should be highly analytical and technologically savvy, with strong problem-solving skills. Employers prefer candidates who have expertise with JavaScript development, as well as experience working with HTML, JSP, EJB, Eclipse and Microsoft SQL Server. Candidates should also have a proficiency in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Viseo. The ability to pay close attention to detail, develop creative solutions for complex and abstract problems and concentrate for