The Invisible Architecture

Content ooo verizon 9:10 AM ooo Verizon 9:10 AM 1 1 ooo verizon What do you know about material design? Oct 19. 2016. 10:22 PM Enough to know that Blue 600 is 1885 hex codes are hot Damn bov let me GIT some of that So is lava wouldn't mind giving you a unit test Oh don't tease me like that hope you're agile, be this just became a standup meeting Onlv if I can call vou CSS cause I like vour style I hope we can merge without any conflicts Let's do a pull request so we can commit and make it official call me scrum master cause I'II find all vour use cases Do you approach your sprints in waterfalls because you're making me wet the time and cost don't matter as long as I can scope out that ass Oct 19. 2016. 11:12 PM Are vou enterprise architecture because I like vour structure and how you operate girl let me gather your requirements 9:10 AM 6 11 00 Oct 20, 2016, 7:52 AM fyi I'm sharing this convo with my coworkers Oh I'm 100 doing the same 20 87 AM hope you're ready to deploy this package Oct 20, 2016, 9:37 AM Wanna come over later because I got a few things I want to demo from mv local AM as long as you can debug my performance Cont Oct 20. 2016. 12:11 PM hopefully my user experience leaves vou satisfied GIF Tune a Message. GIF Tune a Messade GIF

Content Me showing my friend how his 1000 line C code can be writte in 10 lines in Python codehub 00 El

Content CHLO chlothegod Y'all pronounce it data or data? RJ itsrihill I'm mad that I read these words in two different ways... but you're trippin if you think it's data and not data

The horror! Using exceptions as a data transport mechanism is like using a fire alarm as an intercom. Some backend dev actually built a system where they're intentionally throwing exceptions to pass data between services! That's like deliberately crashing your car to change lanes. Exception handling is meant for exceptional circumstances, not as your primary API. The stack traces alone would make any performance profiler weep. Imagine the logs: "ERROR: Everything's actually fine, we just needed to send some JSON to the payment service." This is the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to insert a thumbtack.

Content Sun Neutron star Black hole node modules HEAVIEST OBJECTS IN THE UNIVERSE

GASP! The AUDACITY of developers! 😱 Put an emoji in your actual code and suddenly everyone's acting like you've committed a war crime—sitting there all stoic and judging you with their dead, soulless eyes. But HEAVEN FORBID your terminal spits out a cute little emoji, and these same code purists transform into rabid sports fans, practically FOAMING at the mouth with excitement! Like, excuse me?! Where was this energy when I added a 💩 to mark that legacy function nobody wants to touch? The hypocrisy is just TOO MUCH to bear!