Backend All The Way

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Imagine inheriting a dumpster fire of AI-generated spaghetti code, and someone thinks you can fix everything from authentication to CI/CD with the budget that wouldn't even cover your therapy sessions after seeing the codebase. That $2,500 budget is the real joke here. That's not even enough for the coffee you'll need to stay awake while deciphering what the hell the AI was thinking when it generated this monstrosity. This is the modern tech equivalent of "I need you to rebuild the Titanic using only duct tape and a tight deadline. Oh, and can you make it unsinkable this time?"

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The eternal SQL dilemma that haunts database developers everywhere. After 20 years in the industry, I still can't decide which is more morally reprehensible: animal cruelty or writing SQL keywords in lowercase like some kind of database anarchist. The sweating choice button meme perfectly captures that split second before you reluctantly press the lowercase button, knowing full well your senior DBA will somehow sense this transgression from across the building and appear behind your chair with a disappointed sigh. Fun fact: There's actually no technical reason SQL keywords need to be uppercase. It's purely conventional and aesthetic, yet somehow became the hill many database professionals chose to die on.

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