The Bogosort Dimension

Tech interviews in a nutshell. Interviewer wants you to implement a sorting algorithm from scratch, probably expecting some elegant quicksort or merge sort with O(n log n) complexity. Meanwhile, you just use the built-in sort method that every sane developer would use in real life. The interviewer's face says it all – horrified that you'd dare use a practical solution instead of reinventing the wheel to prove you memorized algorithms from 1962. Pro tip: The built-in sort is optimized by people smarter than both of you. But good luck explaining that during the awkward silence that follows.

When you've been coding for so long that you start indexing real-world objects from zero. Normal people would call this the first step, but programmers know better—it's obviously step[0]. The contractor probably spent years debugging array out-of-bounds exceptions and now can't help but apply zero-indexing to everything they build. Just wait until they number the floors in their next apartment building: Ground, 1, 2... just to watch the mathematicians and Europeans lose their minds.

Let's be honest, "algorithm" is just a fancy word we use to sound smart in meetings. What we're really talking about is that spaghetti code Dave wrote at 2am after his sixth energy drink. Next time your product manager complains about "the algorithm" showing users the wrong content, just say "Oh, you mean that if-else nightmare Brad cobbled together during sprint planning while simultaneously attending three other Zoom calls?" Much more accurate.

Remember when Reddit engineers were optimization wizards? Now they're blaming your tiny custom emojis for server meltdowns. Classic corporate evolution - from "we built a platform that can handle millions of simultaneous users" to "your 20KB GIF is why everything's on fire." Next they'll claim upvotes are causing global warming. The real resource hog? Probably their tracking scripts collecting data on which cat memes make you smile.

Remember when we used to write our own algorithms? Now we're just watching ChatGPT and Deepseek haul our careers up the mountain while we take a nap in the sleeping bag of obsolescence. And the worst part? We have the audacity to brag about our "productivity" like we actually did something impressive. "Look how far I climbed" – yeah buddy, you typed a prompt and took a coffee break while the AI did all the heavy lifting. The only muscle you've exercised is your index finger hitting Ctrl+V.

The eternal holy war of programming: zero-indexing vs one-indexing. Some languages start arrays at 0 (looking at you, C and friends), others insist on starting at 1 (MATLAB and Lua, you rebels). Then there's that one galaxy-brain developer who suggests starting at 0.5 as a "compromise." Because nothing says "I've solved computer science" like introducing floating point errors into your array indices. Next brilliant idea: using π as the starting index – because irrational numbers make PERFECT sense for memory addressing!