Reddit Sort: The World's Least Efficient Algorithm

The Reddit algorithm has commitment issues worse than those wedding day deserters. You're scrolling through a thread about people abandoning their partners at the altar, and BAM—suddenly you're being pitched a GitHub issue processor for AI coding that costs less than a gumball. It's like the algorithm saw a thread about relationship abandonment and thought, "You know what this person needs? Some cheap API calls!" The digital equivalent of responding to someone's breakup story with "That's rough buddy, wanna see my new keyboard shortcuts?"

Machine learning algorithms don't question their training data—they just follow it blindly into the abyss. Classic case of "garbage in, cliff dive out." Next time your recommendation system suggests something utterly ridiculous, remember it's just doing what the cool algorithms were doing. No peer pressure resistance whatsoever in those neural networks!

Finally, an elevator designed by a programmer! The ground floor is 0, not 1, because arrays start at 0 and so should our buildings. That green button is practically screaming "I'm the selected index!" The non-programmers must be so confused when they hit "1" expecting the lobby but end up on what normal humans call the "second floor." Bet the building's GitHub repo has 47 open issues about "intuitive floor numbering" that the dev team has marked as "won't fix" and "working as intended."

Ah, the classic "how do I stop numbers going below 0" question! The perfect showcase of programming evolution: Beginner: *writes 27 comments with elaborate if-statements and custom functions* Intermediate: "tldr: cap decrement of variable at minimum 0" *writes 5 lines of code* Yann-LeCun (AI pioneer): "max(x, 0)" And that, friends, is why senior devs get paid the big bucks. Three characters that say "I've seen this problem 500 times before, and I'm not writing another if-statement about it."

Python starts out all friendly and approachable, luring you in with its simple syntax and beginner-friendly reputation. "Look at me, I'm so easy to learn!" it says with that innocent dinosaur face. Then suddenly you're drowning in machine learning libraries, matrix math, and data mining frameworks that make calculus look like kindergarten finger painting. The learning curve isn't a curve at all—it's a vertical wall with spikes at the top. One day you're printing "Hello World," the next you're implementing neural networks while questioning your life choices.

This is the programming equivalent of asking for McDonald's and your mom saying "we have food at home" — except the food at home is MATLAB. If you've ever had the misfortune of using MATLAB, you know it's that weird cousin of programming languages that engineers and academics love but actual software developers avoid like a production bug on Friday afternoon. It's powerful for math and matrices (hence the name), but coding in it feels like trying to build a website using only a scientific calculator. The $2000+ license fee is just the cherry on top of this engineering department nightmare.