When I Decided To Write A Resume

This meme is peak programmer time travel fantasy! It's portraying the classic "wake up from a coma" trope where our modern dev suddenly finds himself in the golden age of computing (70s/80s) with two Unix beard legends telling him all his 2023 AI anxiety was just a bad dream. ChatGPT? Devin AI? Job losses? Nope, none of that exists - instead, let's do something actually meaningful like rewriting Unix in C! The irony is delicious - modern devs romanticizing an era of limited computing power, punch cards, and no Stack Overflow as somehow more "pure" than our current AI-assisted coding hellscape. Nothing says programmer nostalgia like yearning for a time when debugging meant actual physical switches and you had to wait overnight for your code to compile.

Ah, the classic "stepped in AI-generated SQL" moment! Every developer's nightmare when they look down and realize they've been walking through code that was auto-magically created by an AI. That sinking feeling when you discover your database is about to be obliterated by queries that technically work but are about as elegant as a drunk elephant trying to perform ballet. The AI confidently generated perfect syntactical garbage that'll run flawlessly while bringing your production server to its knees. It's like having a helpful assistant who organizes your closet by setting everything on fire. "But it compiled without errors!" 🔥

When your neural network sees a GPU and a 3D loss function plot trying to solve what your brain does naturally: "Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power." Hardware engineers sweating as they build increasingly monstrous GPUs just to calculate gradients, while the human brain sitting there using 20 watts and somehow understanding why that cat meme is funny. The ultimate flex of biological computing.

The circle of startup AI innovation: Manager asks impossible question → Developer frantically asks ChatGPT → Developer presents ChatGPT's answer as their own work → Manager impressed → Company secures another round of funding. Let's be honest, half the "AI strategy" presentations in boardrooms right now are just regurgitated LLM outputs with fancy transitions. The real innovation is how quickly we've normalized outsourcing our thinking to robots while maintaining our poker faces.

Ah, the classic marketing vs. reality divide. Developers know that what they built is just a simple counter algorithm that goes from 1 to 10, but marketing swoops in and suddenly it's "AI POWERED™" with a trademark symbol because god forbid we call things what they actually are. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen "revolutionary AI" that was just a bunch of if-statements wrapped in a fancy UI. The trademark symbol is the chef's kiss of bullshit – nothing says "we're pretending this is special" quite like a completely unnecessary ™.

The eternal battle between AI evangelists and Unix veterans continues. One side thinks neural networks are magical solutions to everything, while the other knows that most problems can be solved by turning it off and on again. The real intelligence was the force-quit shortcuts we learned along the way.