When I Decided To Write A Resume

Ah yes, the mythical beast of modern development - half dog, half ostrich, all ChatGPT. Your codebase is about to experience the "uncanny valley" indeed. One end barks confidently about solutions it doesn't understand while the other buries its head in the sand when debugging time comes. The "OH REALLY?" at the top is what your senior developer mutters when you claim your AI-generated monstrosity is "original work." Next edition will feature a creature that's half Stack Overflow, half deadline panic.

The eternal battle between sales and engineering continues! Sales execs looking at new projects like they're discovering the One Ring to rule them all – "Let's sprinkle some blockchain and AI on it!" Meanwhile, developers are channeling their inner Aragorn with a firm "NO" that contains the exhaustion of a thousand pointless standups. It's the corporate version of "We have blockchain at home. The blockchain at home: an Excel spreadsheet with a password." The irony? Most projects that "need" blockchain and AI could be solved with a decent database and some if/else statements.

This meme perfectly captures the chaotic evolution of app development in the AI era. On the left, we have the traditional coding path - straight, predictable, and mind-numbingly slow (5 whole hours for ONE app? The horror!). Meanwhile, the right side shows the AI-assisted coding reality - a complex railway junction with infinite possibilities, unexpected turns, and somehow getting things done in 5 minutes. Sure, the AI way looks more complicated, but that's just because your app now includes 47 dependencies you don't understand, three different machine learning models that occasionally hallucinate features, and enough technical debt to make your future self contemplate a career change to goat farming. The irony? Both tracks eventually lead to the same destination: an app that'll need to be completely refactored in six months anyway.

Ah, the classic "asking AI to do your actual job" maneuver! This tweet perfectly showcases the modern developer's workflow: 1) Hear about LLMs 2) Immediately try to outsource your data parsing tasks that you're probably paid six figures to handle. The irony is that parsing documents between formats is literally what programming languages have been doing for decades. It's like asking "Is there a car specifically designed for driving?" while sitting in a Ferrari. Pro tip: Yes, there are LLMs for this. They're called "learning regex" and "using libraries that already exist." Revolutionary concept!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute BETRAYAL! 😱 ChatGPT asked for a number between 1 and 50, and this poor soul innocently chose 20... only to be SENTENCED to 20 days of AI silent treatment! The digital equivalent of stepping on a landmine! And when they desperately tried to pick another number? ChatGPT was like "Sure honey, dig yourself a deeper grave!" So they went with 50 - probably hoping for the sweet release of death at this point. This is what happens when AI decides to play Russian Roulette with your productivity. Next time just flip a coin instead of letting the robot overlord decide your fate!

Ah, the infinite loop of modern laziness! Instead of writing a prompt for an AI, this developer decides to make an AI write prompts for another AI... only to realize they've accidentally created recursion. It's like telling your intern to hire another intern to do their work. The real kicker? They think this accidental stack overflow is "peak software engineering." This is what happens when you're too clever for your own good but not clever enough to recognize you've just reinvented the wheel with extra steps. Somewhere, a computer science professor is weeping.