When I Decided To Write A Resume

Behold, the evolution of AI priorities! First panel: "AI coding for me so I can do my laundry" gets a hard pass. Second panel: "AI doing my laundry so I can code" receives enthusiastic approval. It's the perfect inversion of expectations. Instead of using cutting-edge technology to avoid the noble pursuit of programming, true developers want AI to handle mundane chores so they can spend more time doing what they actually love - staring at a screen wondering why that semicolon is breaking everything. The future isn't AI replacing programmers; it's AI folding your underwear while you debug in peace. Now THAT'S progress.

Ah, the classic "asking AI to do your actual job" maneuver! This tweet perfectly showcases the modern developer's workflow: 1) Hear about LLMs 2) Immediately try to outsource your data parsing tasks that you're probably paid six figures to handle. The irony is that parsing documents between formats is literally what programming languages have been doing for decades. It's like asking "Is there a car specifically designed for driving?" while sitting in a Ferrari. Pro tip: Yes, there are LLMs for this. They're called "learning regex" and "using libraries that already exist." Revolutionary concept!

Imagine inheriting a dumpster fire of AI-generated spaghetti code, and someone thinks you can fix everything from authentication to CI/CD with the budget that wouldn't even cover your therapy sessions after seeing the codebase. That $2,500 budget is the real joke here. That's not even enough for the coffee you'll need to stay awake while deciphering what the hell the AI was thinking when it generated this monstrosity. This is the modern tech equivalent of "I need you to rebuild the Titanic using only duct tape and a tight deadline. Oh, and can you make it unsinkable this time?"

Remember when we thought we'd train AI to help us write code? Top panel: cute little AI cub learning from the wise software engineer master. Bottom panel: six months later, that same AI has evolved into a towering beast while we're still sitting there with our legacy code knowledge from 2019. The career progression timeline has been dramatically compressed. Took me 15 years to become a tech lead. Took AI about 15 minutes to make half my StackOverflow contributions irrelevant. But hey, at least I still know how to exit Vim. For now.

Remember that stable software career you were planning? Yeah, that's getting brutally stabbed by a perfect storm of layoffs and economic uncertainty while AI hype watches from the doorway with a sinister grin. Meanwhile, your dreams of becoming the next tech rockstar are standing outside, blissfully unaware they're about to be murdered too. The tech industry's version of a slasher film where your career aspirations are the unsuspecting teenagers. Pro tip: Maybe learn to sharpen knives as a backup skill? At least those can't be automated... yet.

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of hardware questions in 2023! 💅 Is 12GB VRAM a lot? Well DARLING, for your precious little Fortnite sessions? It's like bringing a nuclear warhead to a water balloon fight. But for training your fancy Large Language Model? That's like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a sippy cup! PATHETIC! The way AI developers sob uncontrollably when someone suggests training a decent model on consumer hardware is just *chef's kiss* DRAMATIC. Meanwhile, gamers are over there with their RGB everything, treating 12GB like it's barely adequate for their precious ray-traced puddles.