When I Decided To Write A Resume

The modern developer's dilemma in three panels! First panel: Developer with fancy AI tools bragging "My throughput has doubled by harnessing AI." Second panel: Colleague asks "SO YOU'RE SMART NOW?" Third panel: The brutal truth drops - "I'M STUPID FASTER." This is the perfect encapsulation of how we're using cutting-edge tools to accelerate the same flawed logic. It's like upgrading from a bicycle to a Ferrari but still following directions from a broken GPS. Congrats, you're now arriving at the wrong destination in record time!

The evolution of dependency management excuses is just *chef's kiss*. First we pretend it's a calculated technical decision. Then we admit we're just lazy. But that final panel? Pure gold. "LLMs don't understand it yet" is the new "works on my machine." Nothing like blaming AI for your technical debt while your package.json looks like a digital archaeological dig site. Meanwhile, your junior dev is quietly running "npm audit fix" in production.

The classic Schrodinger's AI paradox! That metronome perfectly captures the bipolar relationship developers have with generative AI. One minute you're watching it hallucinate that Python has a print_slowly() function, the next it's writing a perfectly optimized algorithm you couldn't dream up in a week of Red Bull-fueled coding sessions. The cognitive dissonance is real - simultaneously believing it's both useless garbage AND the technology that's going to automate us all into unemployment. The needle just violently swings between "why did I prompt this thing for 20 minutes when I could've coded it myself in 5?" and "holy recursive function Batman, it just solved my impossible edge case!"

The secret sauce of modern development revealed! When asked about becoming a coder, the honest answer isn't four years of computer science or mastering algorithms—it's just endlessly Googling error messages until something magically works. The uncomfortable truth is that 90% of our "expertise" is knowing exactly what to search for and which Stack Overflow answer to copy-paste. ChatGPT is just Google with extra steps and fewer captchas asking us to identify traffic lights.

BEHOLD! The most spectacular corporate announcement in the history of Stack Overflow! Meta proudly announces their "exciting partnership" with OpenAI and the community responds with... *dramatic pause*... a CRUSHING -461 votes! 💀 Nothing says "we're thrilled about this collaboration" quite like hundreds of developers collectively hitting that downvote button with the fury of a thousand crashed servers. The corporate-speak about "socially responsible AI" and "revenue streams" clearly resonated with everyone! And by "resonated," I mean triggered a downvote avalanche that could bury a small village. The true masterpiece? That little "-461" quietly sitting there like the world's most passive-aggressive code review. Stack Overflow users have spoken, and they've spoken in the universal language of "absolutely not." Chef's kiss! 🤌

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern development! 💸 There you are, thinking you're so clever hard-coding API keys in your ChatGPT prompts, and BOOM! OpenAI is just SWIMMING in your precious secrets like Scrooge McDuck in his money bin! The sheer AUDACITY! Your API keys - those expensive little strings that unlock digital kingdoms and drain your wallet with every request - now collected and potentially exposed! THIS is why we can't have nice things in tech! Next time maybe try environment variables like a functioning adult? 🙄