When I Decided To Write A Resume

Left panel: Just innocently using "vibe" to describe that sweet mental state where the code flows through your fingers like butter through a hot knife. Right panel: Suddenly realizing everyone thinks you're just copying AI responses because "vibe coding" has become internet slang for "I asked ChatGPT to write this for me." The flow state and AI accusations - two sides of the same monkey.

Looks like GitHub Copilot just went full 1950s mode! Two functions side by side: one for men that returns the salary unchanged, and another for women that returns 90% of the input. Copilot didn't just write code—it accidentally coded up the gender pay gap! This is what happens when your AI learns from historical data without an ethics class. The machine isn't biased... it just perfectly mirrors our messed-up world. Maybe the next update should include a "modern society" plugin.

Google Gemini just gave the most "random" string in the history of random strings. Nothing says "I'm definitely not using a pattern" like literally using the alphabet followed by sequential numbers. That's like asking for a random password and getting "password123". Next they'll tell us their favorite dice roll is always 3.5.

So AWS proudly announces that AI writes 75% of their production code, and then their engineers wonder why everything's on fire? Classic. When "Claude" (their AI) responds with enthusiastic agreement to fix production issues, it's basically Elmo cheerfully presiding over the flames of digital hell. Welcome to the future of cloud computing, where your critical infrastructure is maintained by the digital equivalent of a pyromaniac puppet who's just happy to be included in the conversation. Next time your AWS-hosted site goes down, remember: it's not a bug, it's an AI-generated feature!

Top panel: Homer standing confidently with a single <AI> tag on his chest. Bottom panel: Homer covered in a chaotic mess of if statements. The perfect visual representation of how we all pretend our code is elegant AI when really it's just a tangled nightmare of nested conditional statements. That "revolutionary machine learning algorithm"? Just 500 if-statements in a trench coat trying to look sophisticated. The corporate demo vs. the git repository reality.

The asylum of programming sins is now accepting new patients! Left to right, we have the poor soul who thought regex was a sensible XML parsing solution (narrator: it wasn't), the delusional dev who reinvented the wheel with a custom date/time library (because clearly, humanity hasn't solved that problem in the last 50 years), and finally—the pièce de résistance—the screaming maniac who blindly copy-pasted AI-generated "fixes" straight into production. The padded walls of this code asylum are the only things keeping these developers from harming themselves or others with more terrible technical decisions.