When I Decided To Write A Resume

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these AI startups strangling the life out of decent customer support! 😱 Every website that once had actual humans helping you now has these pathetic chatbots that understand your problem about as well as a goldfish understands calculus. "Have you tried refreshing the page?" NO JANET, MY ENTIRE FINANCIAL FUTURE IS HANGING BY A THREAD AND YOUR SUGGESTION IS TO REFRESH?! And that "Now Kith" at the bottom? *chef's kiss* Perfect representation of tech bros forcing this unholy marriage between websites and chatbots that nobody asked for. The digital equivalent of watching someone suffocate a perfectly good pizza with pineapple. MAKE IT STOP!

That moment when you realize the "simple" Tower of Hanoi puzzle that entertains toddlers has become the new benchmark for exposing AI limitations. Programmers have been sweating over this recursive nightmare for decades, and now we're watching advanced LLMs fail at it too. Nothing quite validates your career choices like seeing a $100 billion AI model struggle with the same puzzle that made you question your life decisions during your first algorithms class. The screaming red face is just our collective internal monologue when debugging recursive functions.

The public thinks AI is some mystical brain-to-brain knowledge transfer. Amateur programmers imagine it's a beautiful network of interconnected nodes making intelligent decisions. Meanwhile, actual developers know it's just a mountain of nested if-statements descending into madness. That bottom panel hits different after you've spent 15 years in the industry. Fancy marketing terms like "neural networks" and "deep learning" sound impressive until you peek behind the curtain and find what's essentially glorified pattern matching with extra steps. The "10,000 if-statements" comment is the chef's kiss of cynical developer truth. We're not creating consciousness—we're just building increasingly complex decision trees and hoping nobody notices.

Ah, the ultimate job security plan! Turns out the one person AI won't replace is the colleague who contributes absolutely nothing. That sweet spot where you're so useless that even automation can't justify the ROI of replacing you. It's like finding a bug so bizarre that QA just labels it as "expected behavior" and moves on. The perfect defense against technological unemployment isn't upskilling—it's strategic incompetence!

The ETERNAL promise of AI replacing programmers is basically the tech industry's biggest ghosting story! Everyone's been clutching their pearls about AI taking over coding jobs since FOREVER, but the answer is always "mañana" (tomorrow) - which is just fancy Spanish for "never gonna happen but we'll keep threatening you with it." It's like waiting for that friend who says they're "five minutes away" but they haven't even gotten out of bed yet. The AI revolution is ALWAYS just around the corner, darling! Meanwhile, programmers are still debugging the same stack overflow errors they were fixing a decade ago. The drama! The suspense! The complete lack of actual job replacement!

Ah, the utopian fantasy where developers actually use type systems properly instead of throwing AI at everything! Imagine a world where we didn't have to debug cryptic runtime errors at 2 AM because someone thought any was a perfectly acceptable type for everything. This futuristic paradise could be ours if people spent half the time they waste prompting ChatGPT on actually learning TypeScript properly. But no, we'd rather ask AI to generate 200 lines of untyped spaghetti code than write a proper interface. Who needs flying cars when you can have undefined is not a function?