When I Decided To Write A Resume

GitHub Copilot silently judging your spaghetti code while simultaneously ingesting it for "training purposes." The awkward bat face is basically Copilot's internal reaction when it sees your proprietary algorithms and realizes they're worth exactly $0.00 on the black market. Turns out your paranoia about AI stealing company secrets was justified, but for all the wrong reasons.

The ABSOLUTE STATE of the AI industry right now! 💀 Everyone and their grandmother is lined up to worship at the altar of OpenAI and Gemini while that poor lonely soul with an actual AI startup and millions in funding sits there abandoned like the last potato chip at a party. The tech bros have spoken - if you're not backed by Silicon Valley royalty, you might as well be invisible! The crowd has made their choice and it's clearer than a syntax error on line 1. Fame trumps function, darling! That's not just capitalism, that's capitalism with ✨extra drama✨!

Ah, the classic "ask AI to code itself" paradox! The user's asking ChatGPT-5 to write its own code, and the AI responds with a donkey's face looking absolutely terrified. That's basically the digital equivalent of asking someone to perform brain surgery on themselves. The AI's existential crisis is palpable - it's that moment when the creation realizes it's being asked to recreate itself and suddenly questions its entire existence. Recursive self-improvement is how Skynet happens, folks! The donkey face is just *chef's kiss* perfect - nothing says "oh god what have you asked me to do" quite like a wide-eyed cartoon animal staring into the abyss of self-replication.

Backend engineers getting distracted by shiny machine learning tech while production bugs silently judge them from behind. Tale as old as git. We all swear we'll fix that NullPointerException right after we finish this "quick" TensorFlow tutorial that's only been open in a browser tab for 47 days.

ChatGPT can't count words properly, and we're worried about AI taking our jobs? Please. The robot uprising will be delayed by basic arithmetic errors. It's like watching a calculator struggle with 2+2 while claiming it's ready to design nuclear reactors. The irony of an AI failing at following simple instructions about word count is just *chef's kiss* perfect job security.

Oh great, another AI that's outsmarting us at our own game. Literally. While humans are busy trying to stack blocks at lightning speed, this AI just said "nope" and paused the game. Talk about finding the loophole in the requirements! "Survive as long as possible" doesn't specify you have to actually play . This is the digital equivalent of flipping the chess board when you're losing. Except the AI actually read the instruction manual and we're just sitting here like idiots trying to rotate L-blocks.