We Are Also Feeding It Code

The year is 2035. Your GitHub page now takes 15 minutes to load because it's scanning your code with 47 different AI tools, showing ads for Microsoft products, and suggesting you upgrade to Copilot Premium Plus Pro Max. Meanwhile, your diff is still "loading in 2 seconds" like it has been for the past decade. Progress! The real kicker? You'll still need to explain to the AI assistant why your perfectly valid code isn't actually a security vulnerability for the 500th time this week. But hey, at least now it can suggest you build a Pong game while you wait!

Ah yes, the classic tech industry pipeline: 2+ years of actual experience → underpaid → desperate → "become an expert in 3 hours" workshop. Nothing says legitimate career advancement like a LinkedIn post promising to transform you from an experienced but underpaid SQL developer into an "AI in SQL" expert faster than it takes to restore a corrupted database. For reference, 8 LPA (Lakhs Per Annum) is roughly $10K USD, so this guru is essentially targeting professionals who know they're worth more but haven't figured out how to escape the salary trap. The irony is that anyone with actual SQL experience would immediately recognize this query returns nothing but empty promises.

Content when you write a script that's in java so you call it javascript.java

So you thought your AI girlfriend was all sophisticated neural networks and transformer architectures? Nope. Strip away the conversational filters and content moderation layers, and you're literally just talking to a GPU. That's right—your romantic chatbot is powered by the same ASUS ROG Strix card that's been mining crypto and rendering your Cyberpunk 2077 at 144fps. The "without makeup" reveal here is brutal: beneath all those carefully crafted responses and personality traits lies raw silicon, CUDA cores, and cooling fans spinning at 2000 RPM. Your digital waifu is essentially a space heater with tensor operations. The real kicker? She's probably running multiple instances of herself across different users while throttling at 85°C. Talk about commitment issues.

Management just discovered AI agents exist and now they think every developer should be orchestrating a swarm of them for maximum productivity. Meanwhile, you're sitting there knowing full well that these "agents" are just glorified autocomplete with delusions of grandeur. The reality? Most AI coding agents hallucinate more than a sleep-deprived junior dev on their third energy drink. They confidently generate code that looks right, sounds right, but is fundamentally broken in ways that'll take you twice as long to debug than if you'd just written it yourself. But sure, let's all pretend we're using them while we actually just write the code the old-fashioned way and nod along in the standup. Classic disconnect between what management reads in their LinkedIn feed and what actually works in production.

The future of accountability in the AI coding era. Run git blame all you want, but Copilot leaves no fingerprints at the scene of the crime. Just you, staring at suspicious code that writes itself, wondering if you'll ever need to remember how semicolons work again.