Vibe Bugging

The ETERNAL promise of AI replacing programmers is basically the tech industry's biggest ghosting story! Everyone's been clutching their pearls about AI taking over coding jobs since FOREVER, but the answer is always "mañana" (tomorrow) - which is just fancy Spanish for "never gonna happen but we'll keep threatening you with it." It's like waiting for that friend who says they're "five minutes away" but they haven't even gotten out of bed yet. The AI revolution is ALWAYS just around the corner, darling! Meanwhile, programmers are still debugging the same stack overflow errors they were fixing a decade ago. The drama! The suspense! The complete lack of actual job replacement!

Tech bros with VC money have a unique approach to AI development: just keep burning cash until something works. It's like debugging with a flamethrower. "Have we achieved artificial general intelligence yet?" "No, but we've achieved artificial general bankruptcy quite efficiently." The Silicon Valley strategy of throwing billions at a problem until either the problem gives up or your investors do. Venture capitalists call this "iterative innovation" - normal people call it "setting money on fire while wearing cool sunglasses."

Ah, the classic "server room at 3 AM" look. DeepSeek's AI model just discovered that content filtering is expensive when you're processing 50 million prompts about politically sensitive topics. Nothing says "unexpected AWS bill" quite like a man contemplating his life choices while his GPU instances burn through cash faster than a startup with free lunch perks. The cloud cost optimization meeting is going to be... interesting.

FINALLY! Sweet, sweet relief! For YEARS we've been walking around thinking we're complete frauds, convinced that any minute someone's going to discover we've just been Googling error messages and copying Stack Overflow answers. But the SECOND someone mentions AI replacing us? Our imposter syndrome LITERALLY ASCENDS from our bodies like some ethereal ghost! 👻 Suddenly we're all "Actually, programming is a complex craft requiring deep understanding" and "AI can't replicate human creativity in code." The AUDACITY of us to flip from "I'm the worst coder ever" to "I'm irreplaceable" in 0.2 seconds! The cognitive dissonance is SENDING ME! 💀

Ah, the ultimate job security plan! Turns out the one person AI won't replace is the colleague who contributes absolutely nothing. That sweet spot where you're so useless that even automation can't justify the ROI of replacing you. It's like finding a bug so bizarre that QA just labels it as "expected behavior" and moves on. The perfect defense against technological unemployment isn't upskilling—it's strategic incompetence!

When your commit history reads like a confession before execution. First you're casually doing some "AI slop" (probably copy-pasting from ChatGPT without understanding it), then comes the panic-induced "oops" commit, followed by the desperate "update gitignore" to hide the evidence of whatever catastrophe you just pushed to production. The real horror? That gitignore update should've been in the FIRST commit. Now everyone knows you either committed your API keys, pushed 500MB of node_modules, or worse—both. The fear is justified because your senior dev definitely saw this sequence and is currently drafting your performance review.