The Revenue Golf Game: OpenAI vs OnlyFans

Ah, the modern "programmer" who only knows how to prompt ChatGPT. Nothing says "I've mastered coding" like typing "Write me a function that..." instead of actually learning syntax. Ten years of experience? More like ten minutes of experience with an AI that does the heavy lifting. The rest of us spent years debugging pointer arithmetic while these folks are getting violently rejected at technical interviews the moment someone asks them to reverse a linked list without digital assistance.

Left side: Regular person confidently declaring they feel "totally safe using Tesla Autopilot." Right side: Programmers who actually wrote the code having an existential crisis because they know exactly what lurks in those if-else statements. Nothing makes you question mortality like knowing the corner cases your code doesn't handle. The same programmers who put "// TODO: Fix this later" in production code are now responsible for keeping your car between the lines.

The only thing scarier than AI taking over the world? Finding out Python isn't just C in a trench coat. C purists have spent years comforting themselves with the myth that Python is just a wrapper around C functions, like a child riding on their parent's shoulders wearing a long coat. "See, it's just C underneath!" they whisper to themselves while clutching their pointers. But the truth that Python has evolved into its own full-fledged language is apparently more terrifying than any artificial intelligence apocalypse. Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a memory-management enthusiast quite like a language where indentation matters and garbage collection just... happens.

The ultimate AI reverse uno card. Someone asks ChatGPT if it can write code without copying from others, and ChatGPT fires back with "No, can you?" Brutal existential burn considering literally none of us write code from scratch anymore. We're all just professional Stack Overflow archaeologists with fancy job titles. The irony is delicious—humans accusing AI of plagiarism while we're all just remixing snippets and libraries that someone else built. At least the AI is honest about it.

The schadenfreude is palpable. Senior devs have watched this movie before—junior copies ChatGPT code, junior deploys ChatGPT code, production server bursts into flames. There's a special kind of satisfaction watching someone learn the hard way that AI doesn't understand edge cases or business logic. It's the circle of dev life: you either die a ChatGPT believer or live long enough to become the cackling senior who saw it coming.

Oh, the eternal job security of dealing with clients who say they want a "simple website" but actually mean "Facebook but better" with a budget of $200. The AI apocalypse might be coming for some jobs, but programmers can sleep soundly knowing that no robot will ever decipher "make it pop" or "I'll know what I want when I see it." Our superpower isn't coding—it's somehow building functional software from requirements that change faster than JavaScript frameworks.