The Revenue Golf Game: OpenAI vs OnlyFans

Behold, the classic tech startup lifecycle: "I built this with no-code tools!" → "Help, I'm being hacked because I have no idea what I'm doing!" Nothing says "technical founder" like bragging about using Cursor AI to build your entire SaaS product, then acting shocked when your security falls apart like wet toilet paper. Meanwhile, actual developers are charging $1,000/hour to clean up the AI-generated spaghetti code. The "I'm not technical" confession after claiming AI built everything is just *chef's kiss*. Turns out you still need to understand what you're doing. Who knew?

Ah, the classic marketing vs. reality divide. Developers know that what they built is just a simple counter algorithm that goes from 1 to 10, but marketing swoops in and suddenly it's "AI POWERED™" with a trademark symbol because god forbid we call things what they actually are. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen "revolutionary AI" that was just a bunch of if-statements wrapped in a fancy UI. The trademark symbol is the chef's kiss of bullshit – nothing says "we're pretending this is special" quite like a completely unnecessary ™.

The railroad tracks of progress have certainly gotten more complex! On the left, we have the traditional straight-line coding path—simple, predictable, and takes you 5 hours to reach a single destination. On the right, the AI-assisted coding multiverse with infinite possibilities, chaotic intersections, and enough track switches to give a train conductor an existential crisis. Sure, you'll build your app in 5 minutes with AI, but then spend the next 4 hours and 55 minutes figuring out which of the 47 different generated solutions actually works without summoning digital Cthulhu to your codebase. The real question: are we moving faster or just creating more impressive train wrecks?

That moment when your team casually mentions Jupyter notebooks in the standup and you're nodding along like you totally know what they're talking about. Ten years of development experience and somehow this popular data science tool completely flew under your radar. The tech world moves so fast that even seasoned devs have these knowledge black holes. Pro tip: Just smile and Google it later like the rest of us do. The alternative is admitting ignorance and watching the intern explain it to you with barely concealed pity.

Oh. My. GOD. The existential crisis of our generation in TWO FRAMES?! 💀 First he's like "I don't care if AI wins over programmers" acting all tough and unbothered. Then BOOM—the punchline hits: "I just need FAANG to lose." It's the tech industry's villain origin story! Doesn't care about the robot apocalypse as long as those Silicon Valley giants get taken down with us. The PETTINESS! The DRAMA! The absolute CHAOS of prioritizing corporate revenge over humanity's survival! We're not just coding anymore, we're picking sides in the tech civil war. And honestly? Mood.

The corporate tech layoff saga continues! First, companies dump their engineers because "AI will save us money!" Then reality hits them like a production outage at 3 AM with no one to fix it. Sure, AI can write some code, but who's gonna explain to it why the client needs that button to be "more blue, but not too blue" or debug that legacy codebase written by some guy who left in 2011 and took all documentation with him? The best part? After burning millions on AI tools, they'll quietly start rehiring the same engineers at higher rates as "AI implementation specialists." Classic corporate self-sabotage at its finest!