The Revenue Golf Game: OpenAI vs OnlyFans

Modern programming is just AI shopping. Why solve a problem yourself when you can make five different AIs race to solve it for you? The real skill isn't writing code anymore—it's knowing which AI's hallucinations are least likely to crash in production. The "hit run on all five" part is where the true chaos begins. Nothing says "I trust my code" like throwing five different AI solutions at the wall and seeing which one sticks. Bonus points if you don't actually understand any of them but confidently present the winner in your next code review. The "like a psychopath" is just chef's kiss perfect. Because what's more psychotic than spending 3 hours asking AIs the same question when you could have just written the damn function yourself in 20 minutes?

The perfect excuse for slacking off has evolved over the decades. First it was "my code is compiling" (the classic), then "my AI is training" (the upgrade), followed by "my LLM is thinking" (the premium model), and now we've come full circle back to "my code is compiling" because why fix what isn't broken? The longer the wait time, the longer you can sip coffee and stare blankly at your screen while your manager slowly loses their will to question you. Nature's perfect defense mechanism for developers in the wild.

When your non-tech friend asks what you're doing and you say "I'm coding," but really you're just asking ChatGPT to build the next billion-dollar startup for you. Let's be honest—we've all typed "make me an app like [insert successful company]" at least once when nobody was looking. The modern equivalent of copying homework, except now we call it "leveraging AI tools for rapid prototyping." Who needs years of software engineering when you can just sweet-talk an AI into doing it for you?

The irony is palpable! A job posting demanding "50% of code must be done by AI" while simultaneously requiring you to sacrifice your firstborn to the startup gods. Let me translate this corporate poetry: "We want cutting-edge AI integration, but also need you in an overpriced SF apartment, grinding weekends away while jet-setting to client sites. Your work-life balance? Sorry, that's not in our Jira board." The "vibe coding experience" requirement is just chef's kiss perfection. Because nothing says "we understand modern development" like demanding both AI automation AND soul-crushing overtime in the same breath.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of developers who think they can sneak AI-generated code into the codebase without anyone noticing! 💅 It's like wearing a neon sign that screams "I TOOK SHORTCUTS!" The second your team reviews that suspiciously perfect yet weirdly alien code, they'll sense a disturbance in the Force faster than Darth Vader at a family reunion. Your code review is about to become more dramatic than a telenovela season finale when everyone realizes you let ChatGPT do your homework!

The AUDACITY of modern development! Start a project with METICULOUS DETAIL and PAINSTAKING EFFORT—just to abandon it halfway through and let some AI finish the job with stick figures! 💀 It's the coding equivalent of making a gourmet meal and then asking your toddler to plate it. We begin with such GRAND AMBITIONS only to hit that third milestone and suddenly it's "dear ChatGPT, please fix my spaghetti code." The horse doesn't lie—we're all just one deadline away from sacrificing our artistic integrity for a quick fix!