The Prompt Engineer's Prayer

NVIDIA CEO: "Just use AI to double your VRAM!" My wallet: *screams in financial agony* 💸 The AUDACITY of suggesting we just casually drop $3000 on a graphics card! What's next? Selling a kidney to run Stable Diffusion? The absolute DELUSION that we're all swimming in money pools like tech billionaires! Meanwhile I'm over here calculating if I can afford both electricity AND ramen this month. The GPU market isn't just a clown show anymore—it's the entire circus, complete with overpriced admission tickets! 🎪

Simple task: print numbers 1-10. Developer asks ChatGPT to do it. Instead of a basic loop, it delivers a recursive function. "Not bad," thinks the developer, and asks for optimization. ChatGPT's response? "Let's spawn threads for each recursive call!" The result is computational chaos—a CPU-melting, fan-screaming disaster that turns a 3-line solution into a parallel processing nightmare. It's like asking for a screwdriver and getting a nuclear-powered jackhammer with rocket boosters. Classic AI overengineering at its finest!

The classic tech startup bait-and-switch! Some poor guy named Steve from Builder.io desperately trying to clarify "THIS IS A DIFFERENT COMPANY" while a satirical headline claims Builder.ai collapsed after revealing their "$1.5 BILLION AI UNICORN" was actually just... *checks notes*... Indian developers writing code manually. The irony is chef's-kiss perfect. Venture capitalists throwing billions at anything with ".ai" in the name while actual human programmers do the work behind the curtain. Meanwhile, Steve's just trying to enjoy his coffee without getting dragged into another company's PR nightmare because of domain name confusion. In 2023, just slap "AI" on your company name and watch the funding roll in! Who needs neural networks when you have perfectly good humans with keyboards?

The inevitable hipster-ification of web development has arrived. Just like artisanal coffee shops charging $9 for "hand-poured" water, we'll soon have developers selling "organic, handwritten, non-AI websites" at premium prices. Next they'll be telling us their HTML is free-range and their CSS was harvested during a full moon. Can't wait for the "small-batch, locally-sourced JavaScript" trend to hit.

Oh honey, look at these programmers having their little existential crisis over ChatGPT! Meanwhile, mathematicians are standing there like the seasoned gallows veterans they are, rolling their eyes SO HARD they can see their own brain. 💅 Calculators literally DECIMATED mathematical jobs decades ago, and these math wizards just adapted and found more complex problems to solve. But sure, programmers, keep clutching those mechanical keyboards while sobbing into your Stack Overflow bookmarks! First automation rodeo, sweetie?

Nine data professionals standing around watching while one Excel guru does all the actual work. Classic corporate data science theater. The entire AI department, with their fancy degrees and machine learning models, rendered useless by someone who mastered VLOOKUP and pivot tables. That's what happens when you spend $2 million on a data lake but can't figure out how to drain a real one.