Technical Skills In 2025

The face every senior dev makes when some kid who just discovered "Hello World" starts dropping hot takes about the industry. That classic list of naïve programming opinions is what we veterans call "peak Dunning-Kruger." Sure, LeetCode will definitely prepare you for building enterprise systems that handle millions of users. And yes, we senior engineers just type "how to code good" into Google faster than juniors. Nothing says "I've never built anything real" quite like claiming backend is just "hitting APIs." Eight years of experience? More like eight minutes on a JavaScript tutorial.

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of claiming ChatGPT as your programming language! 😱 This is like saying "I'm a chef" because you can microwave a Hot Pocket! The sheer DRAMA of getting choked out by your fellow developers for the coding equivalent of saying you're fluent in Google Translate! The modern developer's existential crisis in three acts: claim to be a programmer, name AI as your language, get absolutely DEMOLISHED by the programming community. Chef's kiss to whoever made this masterpiece of tech industry trauma.

Behold, the evolution of AI priorities! First panel: "AI coding for me so I can do my laundry" gets a hard pass. Second panel: "AI doing my laundry so I can code" receives enthusiastic approval. It's the perfect inversion of expectations. Instead of using cutting-edge technology to avoid the noble pursuit of programming, true developers want AI to handle mundane chores so they can spend more time doing what they actually love - staring at a screen wondering why that semicolon is breaking everything. The future isn't AI replacing programmers; it's AI folding your underwear while you debug in peace. Now THAT'S progress.

The eternal tech cycle continues! In a boardroom meeting, the boss asks about new features, and two eager executives immediately jump on the buzzword bandwagon with "Blockchain!" and "A.I.!" Meanwhile, the lone sane developer suggests, "Shouldn't we fix our old bugs?" only to get promptly defenestrated from the building. The perfect illustration of how technical debt gets ignored while shiny new tech gets prioritized. That developer probably just wanted to refactor some legacy code from 2015 that's held together with duct tape and prayers. But hey, who needs functioning software when you can add blockchain to your company pitch deck?

Linus Torvalds, the mythical creature who wrote an entire operating system without once asking ChatGPT to "explain pointers in C" or pushing broken code at 4:59pm on a Friday. Legend has it he didn't even need a $7 latte to debug kernel panics. Just pure Finnish sisu, a text editor, and the audacity to email people when their code was garbage. Modern devs looking at this like archaeologists discovering someone built the pyramids without Stack Overflow.

Oh sweet merciful motherboards! Your company just gave ChatGPT admin privileges?! The ULTIMATE "what could POSSIBLY go wrong" scenario! 💀 It's like handing the nuclear launch codes to a toddler who just discovered what buttons do! One minute you're asking it to reset a password, the next it's "accidentally" deleting your entire production database because someone asked it nicely. Pray to the silicon gods that it doesn't decide your security protocols are "inefficient" and "could use some optimization" at 2AM while you're sleeping! Your career now hangs by a prompt!