One Man Show

The only difference between AI consultants and LLMs is that one costs $300/hour. Both will confidently hallucinate a solution to your problem using words nobody understands, then gaslight you when it doesn't work. At least the LLM admits it's not sentient... yet.

Ah, the classic bell curve of AI anxiety. The folks at the low end of the IQ spectrum are blissfully confident they can't be replaced because they don't understand what's coming. The geniuses at the high end know they're safe because they're the ones building the AI overlords. Meanwhile, the rest of us in the middle—just smart enough to understand the threat but not brilliant enough to be irreplaceable—are sweating bullets. This is basically the tech industry's version of "ignorance is bliss" meets "knowledge is power," with the vast majority of us stuck in purgatory. Twenty years in this field and I'm still not sure if I should be learning to code better or learning to make coffee for the robots.

Oh sweet merciful compiler! That moment when your code produces a bug so otherworldly, so COSMICALLY ABSURD that you can't even form coherent search terms! 😱 You're just sitting there, Mike Wazowski-faced, completely dumbfounded because how do you even Google "program crashes when I sneeze but only on Thursdays if Mercury is in retrograde"?! GPT just responds with "I don't understand what you're asking" because YOUR BUG DEFIES THE LAWS OF COMPUTER SCIENCE ITSELF! And then you fix it by ACCIDENT by deleting a comment. A COMMENT! Which shouldn't even DO anything! The universe is laughing at you!

Ah, the modern "programmer" who only knows how to prompt ChatGPT. Nothing says "I've mastered coding" like typing "Write me a function that..." instead of actually learning syntax. Ten years of experience? More like ten minutes of experience with an AI that does the heavy lifting. The rest of us spent years debugging pointer arithmetic while these folks are getting violently rejected at technical interviews the moment someone asks them to reverse a linked list without digital assistance.

Remember when search engines actually searched instead of showing you 47 ads, 12 shopping suggestions, and 3 AI-generated blog posts before your actual results? The irony of "technological improvements" is that they've optimized for everything except what users want. Modern search algorithms have reached peak efficiency—at selling you stuff you didn't ask for. It's like asking your GPS for directions and getting a 2-minute unskippable lecture about nearby restaurants before it tells you to turn right. The "Don't Be Evil" mantra aged about as well as Internet Explorer 6 running on Windows ME.

Asked Copilot to create a simple flexbox layout and it decided to spawn the Inception of div containers. That conditional at the top should've been v-if="canCreateNightmare" . Nothing says "I'm helping" like turning a 3-line layout into the HTML equivalent of a Russian nesting doll. And the best part? All that code just to add the same gap-4 everywhere. Efficiency at its finest!