One Man Show

Ah yes, the anatomically accurate ChatGPT brain - a couple of smooth pink blobs with absolutely zero wrinkles. Just hover over those non-existent brain areas for more non-existent information. Turns out all those billions of parameters are stored in what appears to be a 3D render someone made during their first Blender tutorial. Neural networks? More like neural balloons.

The AI gold rush in a nutshell! Companies claiming to have "built revolutionary AI products" when they're just wrapping GPT-4 in a fancy UI and calling it innovation. It's like Dave's brilliant "homemade megaphone" that's literally just... a megaphone with extra steps. The recursive definition is chef's kiss perfect—they're not creating anything new, just repackaging what already exists and slapping their logo on it. The technical term for this is "API arbitrage," but the business term is "genius" apparently.

When the job description says "R knowledge required, Python mostly used," but then you show up and discover it's 99% R with that one random pandas script someone wrote 3 years ago. The classic bait-and-switch where data scientists get lured by the promise of Python only to find themselves knee-deep in R's cryptic syntax and bizarre indexing. Meanwhile, Python sits there looking all smug because everyone claims to love it, but nobody actually lets you use it for the cool projects.

Ah, the utopian fantasy where developers actually use type systems properly instead of throwing AI at everything! Imagine a world where we didn't have to debug cryptic runtime errors at 2 AM because someone thought any was a perfectly acceptable type for everything. This futuristic paradise could be ours if people spent half the time they waste prompting ChatGPT on actually learning TypeScript properly. But no, we'd rather ask AI to generate 200 lines of untyped spaghetti code than write a proper interface. Who needs flying cars when you can have undefined is not a function?

Ah, the startup world's latest religion: AI-generated code. This guy wants engineers "maxing out Cursor requests" like they're collecting Pokemon cards. Because nothing says "innovative startup" like having machines write 95% of your codebase while engineers sit around becoming "vibe coders." Next week's LinkedIn post: "If your developers are still typing code manually, you might as well be using stone tablets and chisels." Meanwhile, the engineers who actually understand their systems are quietly updating their resumes.

Future managers surrounded by AI robots, desperately hunting down poor Devin who pushed that production bug? Welcome to the dystopian future where git blame has evolved beyond finding the commit author—it now deploys an army of robots to hunt you down. The irony is palpable. We've created AI sophisticated enough to replace workers, yet management still needs to find a human scapegoat. Some traditions never die, even in 2030. Pro tip: Always commit under your coworker's name when pushing questionable code. Future survival depends on it.