Scrum Masters Are Safe

Remember when 8GB VRAM was god-tier? Now it's the bare minimum for running those bloated AI models and rendering engines. $400 for entry-level specs that would've been flagship material a decade ago is the new normal. The hardware inflation is so bad that we're genuinely excited about mediocrity. Next we'll be celebrating when our IDE opens in under a minute.

Ah yes, the classic "medicine bottle labeled as ChatGPT" with a terrified new programmer staring at it. Remember when we had to actually learn how to code? Now junior devs just ask ChatGPT "write me a React component that fetches data and handles errors" and boom—instant senior developer! Back in my day, we debugged with print statements and cried ourselves to sleep reading documentation. The future is here, and it's making all those hours I spent memorizing syntax feel like a complete waste of time.

Remember when we used to explain our bugs to rubber ducks? Now we just bark orders at AI models to fix our spaghetti code. The evolution from "here's what I've tried" to "just fix it" perfectly captures our descent into tech laziness. Soon we'll just grunt and expect the AI to read our minds. Progress, I guess? At least the duck never judged our variable naming conventions.

OH. MY. GOD. The "super intelligent" AI can't even grasp the most BASIC rule of chess?! 🙄 White moves first, sweetie! The fact that ChatGPT confidently makes the first move while playing black and then has the AUDACITY to suggest the same move to the human player is just... *chef's kiss* peak AI incompetence. This is why we're still light-years away from true AGI, people! Can't even handle a simple board game without a total meltdown of logic. And yet the tech bros keep screaming "THE SINGULARITY IS COMING!!!" Sure, Jan. Maybe teach your precious AI to play chess first? 💅

HONEY, THE IMPOSTOR SYNDROME IS REAL! That's a black lab swimming with ducks who have NO IDEA they've been infiltrated by a completely different species! Just like when you've been copy-pasting ChatGPT code for a week straight and somehow convinced the entire engineering team you're a coding genius! The whole dev team is like "Great job on that algorithm!" while you're frantically Googling what a for-loop is. Swimming in a sea of competent developers while your brain is screaming "QUACK QUACK I'M TOTALLY A PROGRAMMER" is the most relatable thing ever. We're all just dogs in a duck pond pretending we know what we're doing!

From debugging complex algorithms to flipping burgers at McCode's. The great tech replacement didn't quite pan out as expected, did it? After years of training AI to "automate all the things," it finally mastered the art of stealing your job while leaving you with an apron and a drive-thru window. The irony is delicious—much like the fries you're now serving to the engineers who built your digital replacement. At least you've still got job security... until they build a robot that can wave goodbye better than you can.