Scrum Masters Are Safe

Top panel: Developer smugly thinking they're writing masterful code. Bottom panel: Reality check - they're just watching a loading spinner while ChatGPT does all the work. It's the modern equivalent of putting your feet up while the intern does your job. Except now the intern is an AI that doesn't complain about coffee runs or need college credit.

The brutal truth about software development methodologies in their natural habitat: Waterfall: Start with nothing but wheels, then add an axle, then suddenly you have half a car, and finally—after months of sequential development—you get the complete vehicle. Just hope the requirements didn't change while you were building it! Agile: Begin with a skateboard, upgrade to a scooter, then a bike, then a quad bike, and eventually deliver a car. Each iteration is technically usable, but try explaining to your client why they're commuting on a skateboard when they ordered a sedan. AI: Start with a bizarre Frankenstein's monster of a vehicle that's half green, half pink, with random parts attached. Keep training it on more vehicles until it eventually... disassembles itself? The final product bears only passing resemblance to what anyone actually wanted, but hey, it was built in 1/10th the time!

OH. MY. GOD. This is the most SPECTACULAR self-own in tech history! 💀 Someone brags they "made an entire website with ChatGPT" (revolutionary, groundbreaking, Nobel Prize material 🙄) only to share their masterpiece via a LOCAL FILE PATH that only exists on THEIR computer! That's like saying "I baked you a cake" and then sending a picture of your refrigerator! The absolute DRAMA of thinking AI stole our jobs while not understanding how the internet works is just *chef's kiss* magnificent. Honey, if you can't tell the difference between a URL and a file path, programmers' jobs are safer than diamonds in a volcano!

From "AI will build my SaaS" to "Oh god, the hackers are coming" in just 48 hours! The classic startup journey speedrun. First post: "My SaaS was built with zero code using AI tools! People actually pay for this!" Second post: "HELP! My API keys are maxed out, people are bypassing subscriptions, and someone's writing 'DROP TABLE users;' in my database!" The best part? The admission "I'm not technical" after bragging about building a SaaS product. Nothing says "robust security architecture" like learning about SQL injection attacks in real-time while your paying customers watch!

The Pokémon-ML crossover nobody asked for but everyone needed! This gem perfectly captures how every single machine learning course inevitably gravitates toward the Iris dataset. It's basically the "Hello World" of ML—four simple features, three neat classes, and it's been overused since 1936. Instructors dramatically introduce it like they're unveiling some revolutionary dataset, when in reality, it's the same flower measurements that generations of data scientists have cut their teeth on. The Pokéball metaphor is spot-on because just like Ash always reaches for his starter, ML professors can't resist throwing that Iris dataset at bewildered students on day one!

While everyone's freaking out about AI taking over the world, the real crisis is watching humans get progressively dumber with each Stack Overflow copy-paste. We're not building Skynet; we're speedrunning our way back to the Stone Age armed with smartphones. The true evolutionary threat isn't robots becoming sentient—it's developers who can't function without ChatGPT writing their for-loops.