If You Say So....

Ah, the classic programmer identity crisis. Someone asked for the most useful programming languages for 2025 and got Swift, C++, Go, and JavaScript mixed in with French, Japanese, Arabic, and German. Guess the algorithm can't tell the difference between talking to computers and talking to humans. Probably trained on Stack Overflow comments where both are equally incomprehensible. At least they didn't recommend COBOL - that would've been a real sign of AI hallucination.

Content The Self Taught "Serious" Programmer Starter Kit "Just learn assemblv" What the hell is a proof? "bro, you don't need math" Has zero professional experience Lacks basic computer architecture fundamentals despite praising its importance Very active in r/_programming Over emphasizes the importance of code editors and sneers at IDEs made with mematie

The eternal struggle of modern development: StackOverflow tells you that you're absolutely wrong (with bonus downvotes and snarky comments), while ChatGPT cheerfully validates your terrible code that will probably explode in production. It's like choosing between the brutally honest friend who makes you cry and the yes-man who encourages you to wear that hideous outfit to an interview. The truth is somewhere in between, but who has time for nuance when you're trying to fix that bug before the deadline?

The JavaScript ecosystem's greatest fear: finding out some random AI model was trained on their npm packages. The title "I Tsc Alled Dis Ti Lla Tion" is a play on "distillation" - the process where AI models learn from other models - but butchered to include "tsc" (TypeScript compiler) and broken into syllables like someone having a panic attack. Nothing sends a JavaScript developer into hysterics faster than discovering their precious code snippets are now being regurgitated by ChatGPT. Meanwhile, the logos for TypeScript, React, and Node.js perfectly represent the frameworks watching their intellectual property get slurped up by the AI void.

The existential crisis of modern programming in one tweet! Someone asks if you're a bot, and the reply cuts straight to the bone: "We are all bots. Some implemented with neurons and synapses, others with PHP. Arguably both are about the same IQ." Brutal takedown of PHP developers everywhere while simultaneously questioning what even makes us human. The philosophical burn is so savage it makes Descartes' "I think therefore I am" look like a casual observation. PHP catching strays in a conversation about artificial intelligence is peak programmer humor.

The tables have turned! After decades of philosophers being told "good luck finding a job," now they're smugly watching the software industry implode with layoffs, AI replacing entry-level devs, and 300 applicants fighting for each position. That "philosophy factory" joke hits different when you're on your fifth technical assessment for a junior role that requires 7 years of experience in a 3-year-old framework. Maybe Socrates had it right all along—true wisdom is knowing you'll never pass the hiring manager's impossible requirements.