Revoking Your Copilot License

Ah, nothing says "top-notch security" like giving a 25-year-old access to government databases AND AI systems, then watching them accidentally paste an API key on GitHub. Because what could possibly go wrong when someone has access to both Social Security data and cutting-edge LLMs? This is peak "move fast and break things" energy, except the "things" are national security and AI safeguards. The sarcastic "should fill all Americans with a deep sense of confidence" is chef's kiss material. Future historians will call this the "control-C, control-V apocalypse."

Nvidia's AI assistant just pulled the classic "have you tried upgrading to a better GPU?" move on someone who already owns their top-tier RTX 5090 . This is like a doctor recommending heart surgery to a patient with an artificial heart they installed last week. The irony is absolutely delicious—Nvidia's own tool can't recognize its flagship product and instead tries to upsell the very hardware that's already powering the conversation. It's the GPU equivalent of "Did you try turning it off and on again?" except it costs $2000.

The classic "signs of a stroke" medical diagram gets a programmer twist with "if u can't more productive with AI its skill issue" replacing "incoherent speech." Ah yes, nothing says "I'm having a mental breakdown" quite like blaming your inability to leverage AI on your own incompetence. The grammatical errors really sell it too. That's the kind of nonsensical garbage you'd type right before your brain completely shuts down from 72 straight hours of debugging.

So you're telling me the "human" support agent who swore they weren't a robot just happened to spit out a perfect React component faster than I could open Stack Overflow? Ah yes, nothing says "real person" like instantaneously generating 30 lines of useState hooks and inline styling without a single typo. That's not ChatGPT with a mustache and trenchcoat, definitely not. The most human thing about "Ankur" is probably the 3-second delay they added before responding to seem like they're actually typing.

Running from the AI hype tribe like Jack Sparrow fleeing cannibals. Every standup these days: "We should integrate ChatGPT into our workflow!" Meanwhile, you're just trying to write clean code without buzzword-driven development consuming your sprint. The real treasure isn't some half-baked AI integration—it's maintainable code that won't summon future developers to hunt you down with pitchforks. Resistance isn't futile, it's sanity preservation.

When you're so lazy that you ask AI to write a "Hello World" program and then execute it directly without even reading the code. That final eval code is just *chef's kiss* - the perfect blend of modern efficiency and complete disregard for security. Nothing says "senior developer" like blindly executing code from the internet. Security team having a stroke in 3... 2... 1...