What Jira Does To A Mf

Ah, the classic developer transformation pipeline! You start as a bright-eyed engineer with dreams of changing the world through code, then Jira happens. Nothing sucks the soul out of a developer faster than watching your creative aspirations dissolve into an endless backlog of tickets, story points, and sprint planning meetings. That resume snippet in the middle is the smoking gun - "worked with 10-person Scrum team in Agile environment" might as well read "slowly had my will to live drained through two-week increments." The transformation from happy human to murderous CEO is just *chef's kiss* accurate. Your manager keeps saying "it's just a tool to help us organize" but we all know it's actually a portal to the ninth circle of developer hell.