Even The Name Of The Game A Synonym For "Overwatch."

Even The Name Of The Game A Synonym For "Overwatch."
Content ENGUARD This is......A NEW BREED OF HERO SHOOTER!!! MEALTHY DIET This is the 7th week in a row you've shown "A New Breed Of Hero Shooter" in class

Server The Servers

Server The Servers
Content digital VAX 11/780 The Ticketmaster system is a hodge-podge of C and assembler and runs on ancient VMS hardware. The people who developed and maintained it are long since dead and/or retired. It has proven impossible to replace because nothing has been found that can handle thousands of simultaneous purchases as efficiently. The server room that houses the VMS machines has a room where a goat is left every two weeks. The next day, the goat is gone.

Girls Are So Weird

Girls Are So Weird
Content Girls: Why don't boys get our signs? Their signs: final abstract class Main { !

She Said "Yes"

She Said "Yes"
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Programmers Be Like I Googled It So Now I'm An Expert

Programmers Be Like I Googled It So Now I'm An Expert
Lawyers spend years in law school. Doctors grind through med school and residency. Programmers? Just vibing with Google and Stack Overflow until the compiler stops screaming. No formal education required when you've got a search bar and the audacity to copy-paste code you don't fully understand. The best part is it actually works most of the time, which really says something about our profession. We're basically professional Googlers with imposter syndrome, but hey, if it compiles and passes the tests, ship it.

The Stack Hub Be Like

The Stack Hub Be Like
GitHub is all professional and polished, looking like it just stepped out of a corporate photoshoot. StackOverflow is giving you that knowing smirk—it's seen some things, answered some questions, probably roasted a few newbies who didn't format their code properly. Then there's your actual code, which looks like it was drawn by someone having a fever dream during a hackathon at 4 AM. The reality is that your GitHub repos look pristine with their README files and organized commits, while StackOverflow solutions seem elegant and well-thought-out. But when you actually open your codebase? It's a Frankenstein's monster of copy-pasted snippets, TODO comments from 2019, and functions named "doTheThing2_FINAL_actuallyFinal_v3". The gap between what your code looks like in your head versus what it actually is could fit the entire JavaScript ecosystem in it.

The Age Of AI

The Age Of AI
Developers spent years mastering their craft, conquering segfaults, memory leaks, and production bugs without breaking a sweat. But then AI code assistants showed up, and suddenly that little green/red diff showing "+61,104 -780" lines becomes absolutely terrifying. Nothing strikes fear into a programmer's heart quite like an AI confidently refactoring your entire codebase in milliseconds. Sure, it removed 780 lines, but at what cost? What eldritch horrors lurk in those 61,104 new lines? Did it just replace your elegant algorithm with 60,000 lines of nested if statements? The real nightmare isn't that AI will replace us—it's that we have to review its pull requests.

DDR4 Is Back On The Menu Boys

DDR4 Is Back On The Menu Boys
When DDR5 launched, everyone thought DDR4 was heading to the retirement home. Prices were supposed to crater, availability would vanish, and motherboard manufacturers would pretend it never existed. Classic tech lifecycle, right? Plot twist: DDR5 was expensive, had supply issues, and honestly didn't offer enough performance gains to justify the premium for most builds. So DDR4 pulled a Mark Twain and declared that reports of its death were greatly exaggerated. Suddenly budget builders and mid-range enthusiasts realized they could still get perfectly viable systems without selling a kidney. The community went from mourning DDR4's demise to celebrating its unexpected comeback tour. It's like finding out your favorite deprecated API is still supported in the new version because too many people complained.

Typical Child In The Life Of A Programmer

Typical Child In The Life Of A Programmer
When you inherit from both parents but implement the interface as a Python class. The onesie is basically a programmer's birth certificate written in code. Love how the live() method is just an infinite loop of sleeping, yielding to Bardak (probably a parenting framework for diaper changes), and calling be_awesome() . The implementation of be_awesome() ? Just pass . Already awesome by default—no logic needed. That's some solid object-oriented parenting right there. The imports are chef's kiss: import ibtiSam as mom and import boaz as dad . Aliasing your parents like they're npm packages. The class constructor takes both parents' genes as parameters—multiple inheritance done right. And that __init__ printing "hello world!" is probably the most accurate representation of birth ever coded. Baby's first deployment was clearly a success. No exceptions raised, all tests passing, and already in production with that "Welcome home" comment. 10/10 would instantiate again.

How To Center A Div

How To Center A Div
Someone who can center a div both vertically AND horizontally without Googling it is basically a mythical creature. Frontend devs have been battling this since the dawn of CSS, cycling through margin auto, flexbox, grid, absolute positioning with transforms, and probably a blood sacrifice or two. The fact that it requires clarification of both axes just adds insult to injury. Flexbox finally made this trivial, but the trauma runs deep. We all still whisper about the dark days of table layouts and vertical-align: middle that never worked.

Lol, Me As A Developer

Lol, Me As A Developer
Companies love saying they want "honest developers" during interviews, but the second you admit there's no animation for swimming in production because nobody had time to implement it, suddenly you're not a "team player." The brutal honesty of telling stakeholders that features literally don't exist yet? That's career suicide dressed up as transparency. You'll just stand there staring at the water, knowing full well you can't dive in because the sprint ended two weeks ago and swimming got pushed to the backlog. Honesty in development means admitting half the features are held together with duct tape and prayers, but HR didn't mention that in the job posting.

Learning Cpp As C With Classes

Learning Cpp As C With Classes
Welcome to C++, where arrays decay to pointers faster than your career expectations after reading legacy code. Someone just discovered that when you pass an array to a function, it immediately forgets its own size and becomes a humble pointer. No size information, no bounds checking, just raw pointer energy. So now you're stuck passing array sizes as separate parameters like it's 1972. Meanwhile, Python devs are over there with their .length property, sipping lattes, while C# folks have their nice Array.Length . But here you are, manually tracking array sizes like some kind of memory accountant. The "C with classes" nickname hits different when you realize Bjarne Stroustrup gave us templates, RAII, and move semantics, but somehow we're still manually babysitting array bounds in 2025. At least we have std::vector and std::array now... if you can convince your team to stop writing C code in .cpp files.