Stay In Your Lane Bruv

Stay In Your Lane Bruv
You know that junior dev who just finished a React tutorial and suddenly thinks they're qualified to redesign your entire microservices architecture? That's what's happening here. The vibe coder—bless their heart—has wandered into a system design meeting armed with nothing but confidence and a Figma account. The architects are giving them that look. You know the one. The "please stop talking before you suggest we store everything in localStorage" look. System design meetings are where you discuss scalability, data flow, and whether your database will survive Black Friday traffic. It's not the place for "what if we just made it look cooler?" Stay in your lane, focus on those CSS animations, and let the backend folks argue about CAP theorem in peace.

Bring Back jQuery

Bring Back jQuery
Remember when your entire project was like 50KB? Yeah, me neither. Now you need to install 847 dependencies just to center a div. That node_modules folder has become so comically massive it's basically a black hole that consumes disk space faster than you can say "npm install." Modern web development: where your actual code is 2KB but your dependencies weigh more than a small car. Meanwhile jQuery is sitting there like "I was 30KB and did everything you needed" but nobody wants to hear it because we're too busy configuring webpack for the 47th time. Fun fact: The average node_modules folder contains more files than the number of stars visible to the naked eye. Okay I made that up, but it feels true.

We're Making A Hand-Drawn 2D Point And Click Sidescroller Game And Someone On TikTok Asked For A First Person Mode 😭

We're Making A Hand-Drawn 2D Point And Click Sidescroller Game And Someone On TikTok Asked For A First Person Mode 😭
Nothing says "I don't understand game development" quite like asking for a first-person mode in a 2D side-scroller. The dev's response is chef's kiss—comparing it to someone asking you to add beef and gravy to chocolate cupcakes. Sure, they're both food, but you've fundamentally misunderstood the assignment. Converting a hand-drawn 2D point-and-click game to first-person would require redrawing literally everything from a completely different perspective. It's not a feature request—it's asking you to make an entirely different game. The "get fancier later" caption on that beautiful hand-drawn barn really seals the deal. Yeah buddy, first-person mode is slightly beyond "fancier." TikTok users and feature creep, name a more iconic duo.

Programmer's Block

Programmer's Block
You know you're in deep when you can't even come up with a commit message. Writer's block is staring at a blank page, but programmer's block is staring at a terminal with git commit -m "" and your brain just... nope. Nothing. Not even "fixed stuff" or "updated things" comes to mind. Just that blinking cursor mocking your entire existence. At least writers can blame the muse—we just blame Monday.

How Real Programmers Handle Bugs

How Real Programmers Handle Bugs
Classic move: when the compiler catches your divide-by-zero, just give it a variable name and suddenly it's "intentional." Because nothing says "I know what I'm doing" like wrapping your runtime exception in a slightly fancier package. Top panel: direct division by zero, compiler's all confident and screaming at you. Bottom panel: same exact bug, just with extra steps and a variable declaration. Compiler suddenly gets polite and respectful, like you've unlocked some secret knowledge. Spoiler alert: your program still crashes at runtime. You didn't fix anything—you just moved the explosion from compile-time to production. But hey, at least it compiled, right? Ship it.

I Used To Be A God Among Men

I Used To Be A God Among Men
Remember when you could pull all-nighters debugging your passion project, fueled by nothing but Mountain Dew and the sheer audacity of youth? Yeah, those days are gone. Now your body starts sending shutdown signals at 8:47 PM and you're negotiating with yourself about whether that second cup of coffee is worth the insomnia. The cruel irony is that you're technically a better developer now—you know design patterns, you write tests, you actually read documentation—but your biological infrastructure has deprecated itself. Your code quality went up while your uptime went down. That's called getting older in tech, and it hits different when you realize the junior devs are still gaming till sunrise while you're scheduling your standup around your second nap.

Very Comfortable

Very Comfortable
When the interviewer asks about your Python skills and you're out here wrapping yourself in it like a snake charmer who's been coding since the Guido van Rossum era. The confidence is immaculate—literally wearing Python as a fashion statement. Pro tip: This level of comfort usually means you've either been bitten by indentation errors so many times you're immune, or you've just discovered list comprehensions and think you're invincible. Either way, the interviewer is probably wondering if you're about to import antigravity and float out of the room.

Developers In 2020 Vs 2025

Developers In 2020 Vs 2025
The evolution of developer laziness has reached its final form. In 2020, some poor soul manually hardcoded every single number check like they were writing the Ten Commandments of Boolean Logic. "If it's 0, false. If it's 1, true. If it's 2, false..." Someone really sat there and typed out the entire pattern instead of just using the modulo operator like num % 2 === 0 . Fast forward to 2025, and we've collectively given up on thinking altogether. Why bother understanding basic math operations when you can just ask an AI to solve it for you? Just yeet the problem at OpenAI and pray it doesn't hallucinate a response that breaks production. The best part? The AI probably returns the hardcoded version from 2020 anyway. We went from reinventing the wheel to not even knowing what a wheel is anymore. Progress! 🚀

Excel As A Database? Straight To Jail

Excel As A Database? Straight To Jail
You know you've committed a cardinal sin when even your fellow inmates want nothing to do with you. Using Excel as a database is like bringing a spoon to a knife fight – technically it works, but everyone's judging you. We've all seen it: some product manager or business analyst proudly managing 50,000 rows of "critical production data" in a shared Excel file on OneDrive. No version control, no data validation, no foreign keys, just pure chaos and merged cells everywhere. And don't even get me started on the inevitable "Excel_Final_v2_FINAL_USE_THIS_ONE.xlsx" situation. The prisoner's crime is so heinous that even hardened criminals recoil in horror. Murder? Acceptable. Tax evasion? Understandable. But Excel as a database? That's where society draws the line.

Developer Logic: It's Not A Bug… It's An 'Unexpected Feature'!

Developer Logic: It's Not A Bug… It's An 'Unexpected Feature'!
The ancient art of developer spin doctoring at its finest! When QA finds a catastrophic leak in your code, you don't panic and fix it like some amateur—no, no, no. You simply slap some duct tape on it, add a fancy fountain animation, call it a "feature," and watch the stakeholders applaud your "creative vision." Bonus points if you can convince them it was intentional all along and charge extra for the "premium water feature package." The transformation from disaster to masterpiece is truly the developer's greatest superpower.

Average PM Energy

Average PM Energy
Oh honey, the PROJECT MANAGER has entered the chat with the most DEVASTATING clapback in tech history! Just because they don't write code doesn't mean they're sitting there twiddling their thumbs – they're out here orchestrating your chaotic developer energy into something resembling a functional product. The dramatic four-panel escalation is *chef's kiss* because it captures that defensive energy PMs bring when developers start acting like they're the only ones who matter. "I don't develop software... but not because I can't code" – the AUDACITY! The confidence! The sheer unbothered excellence of someone who chose management over semicolons! Plot twist: Some PMs actually CAN code but decided they'd rather herd cats (you) than debug your spaghetti code at 3 AM. Respect the hustle.

Password

Password
So you're telling me my password needs 20 characters, uppercase, lowercase, a number, special characters, a kanji, a hieroglyph, the 100th digit of pi, AND the first codon of my DNA... but sure, let me just click "Sign up with Google" instead. Security theater at its finest. They make you jump through hoops like you're protecting nuclear launch codes when you're just trying to sign up for a random SaaS tool you'll forget about in two weeks. Meanwhile, they'll probably store it in plaintext anyway. The real kicker? That "Sign up with Google" button that makes all those requirements completely pointless. Why even bother with the password field at this point?