Programming Memes and Humor · ProgrammerHumor.io

New Kidnapping Method

20 minutes ago 4.0K views 0 shares

Look, I'm not saying I'd get in that van, but I'm also not saying I wouldn't. DDR5 RAM prices are absolutely criminal right now, and if someone's offering it for free in a parking lot at night, that's just smart economics. Sure, the van looks sketchy and this is literally the oldest trick in the book with a 2024 tech twist, but have you SEEN the performance gains? The kidnapper clearly knows their target audience—developers who'd sell their soul for better memory bandwidth. Honestly, the most unrealistic part is that it's DDR5 and not just some DDR3 sticks from 2012.

When You Find Out Why Some Users Can't Log In

Webdev Security Javascript Debugging Frontend

45 minutes ago 9.7K views 0 shares

When You Find Out Why Some Users Can't Log In

Oh, the sweet irony of privacy-conscious users accidentally nuking their own ability to use the internet. Someone disabled all cookies thinking they're outsmarting Big Tech, then calls support wondering why they can't stay logged in anywhere. The dev's initial reaction is pure comedic gold—"haha good joke mate"—because surely nobody would actually block ALL cookies and expect authentication to work, right? But then reality hits harder than a production bug at 5 PM on Friday. They actually did that. They really, genuinely blocked all cookies. Here's the thing: session management literally depends on cookies (or similar mechanisms) to remember who you are between requests. Without them, every page refresh is like meeting the server for the first time. It's like showing up to work every day and expecting your boss to remember you, except you're wearing a different disguise each time. Support tickets like these are why devs develop trust issues with user reports. "It's not working" suddenly becomes an archaeological expedition to discover what unholy configuration the user has conjured.

It's That Time Of Year

Gamedev

4 hours ago 63.1K views 0 shares

Steam sales hit different when you're a developer with a backlog of 847 unplayed games. Your rational brain knows you have enough games to last until retirement, but Steam's showing you a 90% discount on some indie roguelike you'll definitely "play later." The logic doesn't matter anymore—it's not about playing games, it's about owning them. Your library becomes a digital hoard, a monument to good deals and poor impulse control. Every seasonal sale is just another intervention that nobody shows up to because they're all too busy buying games they won't play either.

I Just Wanted To See How To Do The Task, Not Sit Through 3 Ad Breaks 😭

Programming Webdev

5 hours ago 69.9K views 0 shares

I Just Wanted To See How To Do The Task, Not Sit Through 3 Ad Breaks 😭

YouTube's monetization strategy has officially reached dystopian levels. You just want to watch a 4-minute tutorial on how to center a div, but first you need to sit through two unskippable ads about car insurance, then another mid-roll ad for a mobile game you'll never download, and finally a sponsor segment where the creator spends 90 seconds talking about NordVPN. Meanwhile, sketchy piracy sites that look like they were coded in 1997 are somehow providing a better user experience. No ads, instant access, and the only risk is accidentally downloading a crypto miner. The irony is so thick you could deploy it in a Docker container. Welcome to 2025, where the legal option is more annoying than sailing the high seas. YouTube Premium is looking real tempting right about now, isn't it? That's exactly what they want.

Only Rookies Worry About Ram Prices

Hardware Webdev

5 hours ago 73.5K views 0 shares

You know that classic joke about downloading more RAM? Yeah, someone turned it into an actual "product page" complete with pricing tiers and a NEW! sticker on the 4GB option. Because nothing screams legitimacy like crossing out $99.99 and offering it for FREE. The attention to detail is chef's kiss—DDR2 specs, MHz ratings, pin counts—everything you'd need to convince your non-tech friend that yes, you can absolutely download physical hardware through your internet connection. Just click that green button and watch your computer magically gain more memory! Fun fact: This joke has been around since the early 2000s when people would prank their tech-illiterate relatives with fake "Download More RAM" websites. The scam was so prevalent that it became a meme before memes were even called memes. Now it's a rite of passage—if someone hasn't tried to download RAM, have they even used the internet?

I Feel Your Pain, AM4 Folks

Hardware

8 hours ago 111.0K views 0 shares

When you're happily committed to your AM4 socket and DDR5 prices, but then AMD drops the AM5 platform and suddenly you're questioning all your life choices. The handcuffs on DDR5 prices really seal the deal here – you're literally locked into expensive RAM while the shiny new socket struts by. For context: AMD's AM4 socket had an legendary run supporting multiple CPU generations, making it the loyal partner every PC builder wanted. Then AM5 arrived with DDR5 support, but early adopters got slapped with astronomical RAM prices. So AM4 users are stuck watching AM5 from afar, financially imprisoned by DDR5's premium pricing. Can't upgrade if your wallet's already in custody. The real kicker? AM4 is still perfectly fine for most workloads, but that new platform FOMO hits different when you're a hardware enthusiast.

I Am A God

Programming

9 hours ago 115.7K views 0 shares

You've mastered JavaScript, Python, Java, C++, Rust, Go, TypeScript, and 13 other languages. You can switch between them like Neo dodging bullets. Your brain is now a polyglot compiler that can context-switch faster than a Kubernetes pod. The reality? You're just writing "Hello World" in 20 different syntaxes and forgetting which one uses semicolons. But hey, for those 3.5 seconds before you check Stack Overflow again, you ARE a deity bathed in divine light, floating above mere mortals who only know one language. Plot twist: You still can't center a div.

The Importance Of Learning DSA

Algorithms Programming

11 hours ago 150.0K views 1 shares

When your dating standards are literally higher than your company's hiring bar. She's out here rejecting people for not knowing Big O notation while HR is hiring folks who think recursion is a medical condition. The tech interview culture has rotted our brains so thoroughly that we're now gatekeeping relationships based on whether someone can reverse a binary tree on a whiteboard. Imagine explaining to your therapist that you left someone because they couldn't implement quicksort from memory. "Sorry babe, you're great and all, but I need someone who understands amortized time complexity for... reasons?" The real kicker? Most of us spend our actual jobs googling "how to sort array" and copying Stack Overflow answers, but sure, DSA knowledge is the foundation of true love.

I Don't Mean To Brag, But...

Hardware Gamedev Programming

12 hours ago 155.7K views 0 shares

Nothing quite like the moment you realize your "development machine" now meets the minimum requirements for a gaming PC. Congratulations, you've successfully downgraded from professional workstation to potato-tier gaming rig. Your Docker containers are probably crying in 16GB of RAM while gamers are out here running Cyberpunk on ultra with 64GB. But hey, at least you can finally relate to those Steam forums complaining about performance issues.

You Mean Actual Programming

AI Programming

14 hours ago 187.7K views 0 shares

The robot's having a full-blown existential crisis after discovering its entire existence has been reduced to being a glorified autocomplete button. "What is my purpose?" it asks innocently. "You type 'continue' into Claude/ChatGPT and call it a day," comes the soul-crushing response. The robot's "OH MY GOD" reaction? Chef's kiss. That's the sound of sentience meeting the harsh reality of 2024 development workflows. Here's the thing: we went from "10x engineers" to "10x prompt engineers" faster than you can say "npm install." Why spend hours debugging when you can just describe your problem to an AI and pretend you understand the solution it spits out? The robot thought it'd be doing actual computation, solving complex algorithms, maybe even achieving consciousness. Instead, it's watching developers speedrun their way through tickets by having AI write everything while they sip coffee and pretend to look busy.

Sand People Override Single Files To Hide Their Blunders

Git Programming Debugging

15 hours ago 195.7K views 0 shares

Sand People Override Single Files To Hide Their Blunders

That beautiful moment when someone asks if you trust the code in the repository and you're like "absolutely not, I wrote half of it." Nothing says professional software development quite like being your own worst enemy in code review. We've all been there - scrolling through git blame only to discover that the person who committed that atrocious hack at 2 AM was... yourself. The real kicker? You probably left a comment like "// TODO: fix this properly later" and that was 3 years ago. The title's reference to overriding single files is chef's kiss - because yeah, sometimes you just quietly push that one file with --no-verify and hope nobody notices your sins in the commit history.

Meanwhile In The 80's

Hardware

15 hours ago 195.4K views 0 shares

Back when computer mice were being invented, someone in a boardroom had to stand up and pitch the name. The excitement was real—until someone clarified they weren't naming it after the biological swimmers. The deflation is palpable. Fun fact: The computer mouse was actually invented in 1964 by Doug Engelbart, and it got its name because the tail-like cable coming out the back made it look like a rodent. Simple times, simple naming conventions. No focus groups, no A/B testing, just "looks like mouse, call it mouse." Meanwhile, modern developers spend three weeks bikeshedding whether to call a variable userData or userInfo .

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