All My People Say Nah To Apple

All My People Say Nah To Apple
Chrome and Firefox are out here being bros, actually supporting your responsive design like decent browsers should. They're holding your hand, telling you "I got you, brother!" when you're testing those media queries at 3 AM. Then Safari shows up with a 2x4 ready to ruin your day. That one CSS property that worked perfectly everywhere else? Safari decided it's optional. Your flexbox layout? "Oh no you don't!" Safari has its own interpretation of web standards, and it's usually wrong. Safari is basically the new IE6 at this point. You spend 2 hours building something beautiful, then 6 hours fixing it for Safari. WebKit quirks are the gift that keeps on giving, and by giving I mean taking years off your life.

My 12 Year Old X 79 Homelab Server Going Into Yet Another Life Extension Due To Ram Prices

My 12 Year Old X 79 Homelab Server Going Into Yet Another Life Extension Due To Ram Prices
When RAM prices are so astronomically absurd that you're out here running a server older than some developers' careers. That ancient Ivy Bridge-E CPU is literally held together by hopes, dreams, and thermal paste from the Obama administration, yet somehow it REFUSES to die. It's like the Nokia 3310 of processors—completely indestructible and mocking you from beyond its expected lifespan. Every time you look at current RAM prices you're like "welp, guess we're doing another BIOS update and praying to the silicon gods." Your homelab is basically a digital zombie at this point, shambling forward on DDR3 memory while the rest of the world moved on to DDR5. But hey, if it boots, it computes! 💀

Multithreading

Multithreading
The documentation makes multithreading look like a beautiful parade of orderly buses gliding smoothly down the street—so elegant, so synchronized, so *chef's kiss*. Then you actually implement it and suddenly you've got a catastrophic intersection pileup where nothing moves, everything's blocking everything else, and someone's honking their mutex in frustration. Race conditions? Deadlocks? A complete traffic jam of chaos? Welcome to the glamorous world of concurrent programming, where your threads are about as coordinated as buses trying to occupy the same physical space. Spoiler alert: physics doesn't allow that, and neither does your CPU.

Entry Level But Senior

Entry Level But Senior
The tech industry's favorite paradox: "Entry-level position, must have 5+ years of experience." Because apparently you should've been coding in the womb and shipped production apps during kindergarten. Recruiters out here demanding senior-level expertise for junior-level pay, then wondering why nobody's applying. It's like asking for a Lamborghini at Honda Civic prices. The job market has been doing this nonsense for years, creating impossible requirements that even the hiring managers themselves couldn't meet when they started. Pro tip: If you see this in a job posting, apply anyway. Half those "requirements" are just HR playing fantasy football with qualifications they don't understand.

Download 600GB Of RAM With This One Weird Trick

Download 600GB Of RAM With This One Weird Trick
Who needs sketchy "Download More RAM" websites when Windows lets you create a 600GB paging file? For the uninitiated, a paging file is Windows' way of pretending your slow hard drive is actually RAM when you run out of the real thing. It's like replacing your sports car with a tricycle but insisting it's the same thing. The joke here is that someone's setting up a massive virtual memory file and calling it "600 Gb of RAM for free!!?" – as if they've discovered some brilliant hack, when they're actually just creating the computing equivalent of writing IOU notes to yourself. Your computer will technically function, but it'll run with all the speed and grace of a sloth swimming through molasses. But hey, at least the Task Manager will be impressed!

Spec Is Just Code With A Fancy Hat

Spec Is Just Code With A Fancy Hat
Oh honey, the DELUSION is REAL! 💅 These poor souls thinking they've discovered some revolutionary concept where we'll just "write specifications" and *poof* - code appears! The absolute DRAMA when they realize that writing a "comprehensive and precise spec" is LITERALLY JUST WRITING CODE with extra steps! It's like saying "I've invented a way to avoid cooking - I'll just write extremely detailed instructions for someone else to follow!" Congratulations, you've invented a recipe, which is STILL COOKING! The programmer's smug "It's called code" at the end is sending me to the MOON! This is the software development equivalent of reinventing the wheel and calling it a "circular motion enablement device." I cannot with these people! 😂

You Never Realize How Small An SSD Is...

You Never Realize How Small An SSD Is...
That moment when you realize your 2TB NVMe SSD with blazing 7000MB/s transfer speeds is physically smaller than a novelty pencil. Somehow stores 1,000,000+ high-res cat memes while being barely visible to the naked eye. Moore's Law is basically black magic at this point. Your entire Steam library, 50 Docker containers, and three virtual machines fit on something that could get lost in your carpet fibers. Meanwhile, my first computer had a 20MB hard drive the size of a microwave.

Silence, Objective Analysis Is Talking

Silence, Objective Analysis Is Talking
Oh, the SACRED RITUAL of game performance discussions! 🙄 You bring forth your meticulously collected data, benchmarks, and frame rate analyses showing a game is an optimization DISASTER... only to be SMITED by the almighty "works on my machine" defense! Because clearly, your exhaustive technical evidence is no match for Brad's magical gaming rig that can apparently run Cyberpunk on a toaster. The gaming community's version of putting fingers in ears and screaming "LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Truly the digital equivalent of bringing science to a feelings fight. ✨

Do British Websites Use Biscuits?

Do British Websites Use Biscuits?
Ah, the cultural confusion between American and British English strikes again! Someone's clearly been deep in web development and heard about "cookies" but then remembered the British call cookies "biscuits." So naturally, they had to Google if British websites use "biscuits" instead of "cookies" for storing user data. For the uninitiated: in web development, cookies are small text files that websites store on your device to remember information about you. They're called cookies everywhere, even in Britain where actual edible cookies are called biscuits. The browser doesn't change terminology based on your location settings. Imagine if they did though: "This site uses biscuits to enhance your experience, love. Fancy a cuppa while you accept?"

Not Secure: HTTP Accommodation

Not Secure: HTTP Accommodation
The classic web developer nightmare: finding a place with HTTP instead of HTTPS. When your browser warns "Not Secure," you typically close a sketchy website. When it's your Airbnb, you cancel the booking. That room is basically transmitting all your personal data in plaintext across the internet. Hope they at least have decent WiFi to efficiently broadcast your credit card details to the neighborhood.

My Son's Girlfriend Is A Neural Network

My Son's Girlfriend Is A Neural Network
Fast forward to 2046, and your son's new girlfriend is literally a neural network. Not just any neural network—a fully connected one with multiple hidden layers! Those yellow input nodes are probably processing her breakfast preferences, while that single orange output node is determining whether your dad jokes are actually funny (spoiler: the activation function always returns 0). The future of dating isn't swiping right, it's optimizing your gradient descent to find the perfect match. Backpropagation has never been so romantic!

Tech Companies Be Like

Tech Companies Be Like
The tech industry's job market in one perfect image. Nothing captures the absurdity of modern hiring like demanding someone be simultaneously fresh out of college yet somehow possessing half a decade of professional experience. It's like asking a newborn to recite their memoir. Next they'll want your GitHub contributions from the womb and internship experience from preschool. The cognitive dissonance is so strong you can practically hear the recruiter saying "entry-level position" while typing "must have architected multiple distributed systems at scale."