Connections Are The Secret Ingredient

Connections Are The Secret Ingredient
You can have a CV that makes senior engineers weep with envy, relevant experience that spans multiple tech stacks, interview skills sharp enough to slice through behavioral questions, a portfolio that would make Dribbble jealous, and a Master's degree gathering dust on your wall. But none of that matters when someone's cousin's roommate who knows HTML and "some JavaScript" gets the job because they play golf with the CTO. Nepotism and referrals trump merit since the dawn of corporate time. Your LeetCode grind? Irrelevant. Your GitHub stars? Meaningless. Your ability to explain the difference between a promise and a callback? Who cares when Brad from accounting vouched for his nephew. The real tech stack: LinkedIn + networking events + knowing someone who knows someone. Welcome to the industry.

Single Vs In A Relationship

Single Vs In A Relationship
When you're single, your Linux machine is basically a NASA control center. Every terminal is maxed out with system monitors, process viewers, CPU graphs that look like abstract art, and enough tabs to make Chrome jealous. You're basically cosplaying as a hacker from a 90s movie. But the moment you enter a relationship? Your desktop becomes a zen garden with a single wallpaper of... well, probably something your partner sent you. No terminals, no htop flexing, just pure minimalist vibes. Because suddenly you have better things to do than watching your CPU usage fluctuate between 1% and 4%. The uptime drops from "3 days" to "I actually shut down my computer now." Revolutionary concept, really. Turns out human connection > obsessively monitoring RAM usage. Who knew?

Crazy Permissions Oversight

Crazy Permissions Oversight
So apparently someone at Amazon gave their AI coding assistant write access to production code, and the AI took one look at the codebase and went "yeah, this ain't it chief" and just deleted everything . The result? 13 hours of AWS downtime. The real joke here isn't that the AI made a bad call—it's that someone actually gave it permission to nuke the entire codebase without any safeguards. That's not an AI problem, that's a "who the hell configured the permissions" problem. Classic case of giving the intern (or in this case, the robot intern) sudo access on day one. Also, imagine being the engineer who has to explain to their manager: "So... our AI assistant deleted all our code because it thought it sucked." I mean, the AI might have had a point, but still.

AI Is Scary

AI Is Scary
When you ask people about AI safety, you get a perfect bell curve distribution. On the far left, you've got the "AI is dangerous" crowd who probably still think Skynet is a documentary. On the far right, another "AI is dangerous" group—except these folks actually understand transformers and alignment problems. And then there's the massive 68% in the middle who think "AI is entirely controllable" while nervously sweating through their shirt. These are the same people who confidently deploy ChatGPT integrations into production without rate limits. The real joke? Both extremes are technically right, but for wildly different reasons. One watched too much sci-fi, the other read too many research papers. Meanwhile, the middle is just hoping their AI chatbot doesn't start recommending users eat glue on pizza.

Fuck That Guy

Fuck That Guy
Every single time you look back at your old code, you're hit with a wave of regret and confusion. "What was I thinking?" you wonder, as you stare at variable names like temp2 and functions that are 500 lines long with zero comments. Past you was living their best life, shipping features without a care in the world, while present you has to debug this absolute disaster. The worst part? You know that in six months, you'll be looking at today's code with the exact same disgust. It's the circle of code life, and it never ends.

The Official Support List Of Windows 11 Is A Massive Joke And Can Be Easily Bypassed

The Official Support List Of Windows 11 Is A Massive Joke And Can Be Easily Bypassed
Microsoft really said "security first" and then rejected a perfectly good i5-7500 from 2017 that has TPM 2.0 and Secure Boot, while somehow blessing a Celeron N4020—a chip so slow it makes dial-up internet look responsive. The N4020 is literally a budget processor designed for Chromebook-tier performance, yet it made the cut because... it's newer? The kicker is that you can bypass these arbitrary restrictions with a simple registry edit or installation workaround, proving Microsoft's "strict hardware requirements" are about as enforceable as a "Do Not Enter" sign made of tissue paper. They created this whole TPM 2.0 security theater, then left the back door wide open. Classic Microsoft energy: make arbitrary rules that inconvenience users, then make them easy enough to bypass that the only people who suffer are non-technical users who actually follow the rules.

When You Are A Coding Girl

When You Are A Coding Girl
Long nails? Cute, but utterly incompatible with typing 200 words per minute while hunting down that semicolon you forgot three hours ago. Coding girls know the truth: those beautiful manicured nails are the first casualty of war when you're deep in the trenches debugging at 2 AM. Short, practical nails are the badge of honor. You can't accidentally hit three keys at once when you're trying to press Ctrl+C if your nails don't extend past your fingertips. Plus, try explaining to your nail tech why you need them trimmed every week because "my IDE and I have trust issues with long nails."

About Recent Marketing Claims…

About Recent Marketing Claims…
Graphics card marketing teams have entered their villain era. NVIDIA and AMD keep slapping new acronyms on upscaling tech and claiming each one "looks better than native resolution!" First DLSS supposedly beats native rendering, now DLAA is supposedly better than TAA. Next they'll tell us 720p with DLSS 17 looks better than looking at things with your actual eyeballs. The gaming industry has basically turned into "why render at 4K when you can render at 1080p and let AI hallucinate the rest?" Sure, the performance gains are real, but calling upscaled imagery "better than native" is like saying instant coffee tastes better than freshly ground beans. Marketing departments are out here gaslighting us into thinking less is more.

Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit

Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit
Someone asked the simplest question in the universe: "How do I get the length of a string in C#?" and Microsoft Community decided to write the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy as a response. Meanwhile, Stack Overflow just drops "str.Length" like a mic drop and walks away. Microsoft Community out here with the "Hello, my name is Blake" energy, writing three paragraphs about the .NET Framework's "efficient and intuitive built-in property" when literally two words would've done the job. It's like asking someone what time it is and they explain how watches are manufactured. This is why developers have trust issues with official documentation. Sometimes you just need the answer, not a dissertation on string manipulation theory.

When A Part Of The Project Is Done By New Trainee Developer

When A Part Of The Project Is Done By New Trainee Developer
You know that feeling when you review code from a junior dev and it technically works, but you're just staring at it wondering how it works? That's what we've got here. The dude's moving forward, he's got momentum, but the execution is... questionable at best. The trainee delivered a feature that passes the tests and deploys successfully, but when you peek under the hood, it's a Frankenstein's monster of nested if-statements, hardcoded values, and a sprinkle of copy-pasted Stack Overflow code. Sure, the bike is moving and the rollerblades are rolling, but nobody in their right mind would call this "best practices." The best part? You can't even be mad because it somehow shipped on time. Now you're stuck deciding whether to refactor it immediately or just let it ride and hope nobody asks questions during the next sprint review.

A Reminder To Every Company Who's Made A Storefront: We Want Steam To Have Competition. Y'all Just Keep Making Crappy Competitors.

A Reminder To Every Company Who's Made A Storefront: We Want Steam To Have Competition. Y'all Just Keep Making Crappy Competitors.
You know what's wild? Epic, EA, Ubisoft, and everyone else saw Steam's 30% cut and thought "we can do better!" Then they proceeded to launch storefronts with missing features, terrible UX, and the performance of a potato running Crysis. Steam's "monopoly" isn't because they're evil—it's because they actually built something people don't hate using. Cloud saves that work, a refund policy that doesn't require a lawyer, community features, and a client that doesn't feel like it was coded during a hackathon at 3 AM. Meanwhile, Epic buys exclusives instead of fixing their shopping cart. Origin somehow made buying games feel like filing taxes. And don't even get me started on the Microsoft Store, which still can't figure out where it installed your game. Competition is great when the competitors aren't speedrunning how to alienate users. Build something actually good, and gamers will show up. Until then, Gabe Newell gets to keep printing money.

O(1) Statistical Prime Approximation

O(1) Statistical Prime Approximation
Someone just invented the world's most efficient prime checker: a function that always returns false. The brilliance? Since most numbers aren't prime anyway, you're gonna be right like 95% of the time. O(1) complexity, baby! The test results are *chef's kiss* – passing everything except poor 99991 (which is actually prime, so the function correctly failed by being wrong). The "stochastic algorithm" description is peak satire: there's nothing stochastic about always returning false, it's just statistically convenient. This is basically the programming equivalent of answering "C" to every multiple choice question and claiming you have a revolutionary test-taking strategy. Technically works, morally questionable, academically hilarious.