The Digital Aristocracy

Content by Task Manager File Options View Processes Performance App history Startup Users Details Services V Name Publisher Status 9 Program Enabled O iCUE Corsair Memory, Inc. Enabled LMMStartUpApp m BakkesMod TODO: Company name Enabled Microsoft OneDrive Microsoft Corporation L Realtek HD Audio Universal ... Realtek Semiconductor I Logitech Download Assistant Logitech, Inc. Windows Security notificatio.. Microsoft Corporation Spotify Spotify AB g Microsoft Teams Microsoft Corporation LIE EpicGamesLauncher Epic Games, Inc. Discord Discord Inc. Steam Client Bootstrapper Valve Corporation Enabled Enabled Enabled Enabled Enabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Disabled Fewer details Last BIOS time: 6.2 seconds Startup impact Not measured High Medium Medium High Low High Medium None None None None None Disable

Nothing says "I'm a laptop user" quite like having a literal inferno between your legs and pretending everything's normal. PC gamers panic when their GPU hits 80°C, but laptop warriors casually type through third-degree burns as their machine transforms into a portable crematorium. The best part? The warranty specifically excludes "damage caused by using laptop on actual lap" - which is literally in the name of the device. Pure marketing genius!

The AUDACITY of this tiny $5 speaker! There you are, lying in bed, completely BAFFLED why your precious computer won't work, while this smug little piece of hardware is DESPERATELY trying to communicate with you through its primitive language of beeps and boops! It's literally SCREAMING diagnostic codes at you while you stare blankly at the ceiling wondering if you should just throw the whole PC away. And then the MOMENT OF REVELATION hits you like a truck - "Oh wait, that annoying little speaker I never paid attention to was actually trying to SAVE MY LIFE this whole time?!" The betrayal you feel towards yourself is immeasurable.

Content Zeke Smith any Yesterday at 1:34 PM probably however I cant diagnose it easily and its not just 1 bug its also confused the hell out of git wait wtf wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait it just worked... WTF 1 did nothing obviously I am a genius and I know what fixed it 1 figured it out windows sucks literally caused by a windows filesystem issue

The eternal dilemma of Windows updates captured in playground slide form. Nobody in their right mind picks "Update and Shut Down" - it's the software equivalent of saying "please make me late tomorrow morning." Meanwhile, the twin "Update and Restart" slides get all the traffic because who doesn't love that special feeling of watching your computer reboot 17 times while displaying "Working on updates: 3% complete (2 of 36)"? The real power move is finding that hidden fourth slide called "Remind me in 4 hours" that we've all been clicking for the past 8 months.

Content Graeme Coleman graemecoleman Hello, my name is Graeme, I have a PhD in computing, and I am a senior accessibility consultant, but when I want to type "" on a Windows laptop I go to Beyonc's Wikipedia page and copypaste the letter from there. 9:41 PM 20 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client