I Just Invented Something Every Dev Needs

Content How to fix any computer Windows Step I Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive, Reinstall Windows Lose all your fies. Quietly weep. Apple Step I Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account Quietly weep. Linux Step h Learn to code in C Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again: Switch dietros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard Blame Sun Microsysters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietly weep

Content Janis Kluge jakluge 17h Due to sanctions, Russia is switching from Windows to Linux. The government wants to force domestic programmers to convert their software. But there are doubts: Many systems will have to be rebuilt from scratch, and there are few Linux experts around. kommersant.rudoc5570730 48 17 237 740 8 Kait i airenni Replying to jakluge You can't throw a political enemy out a fourth-floor Linux, though. 11:09 AM 20 Sep 22 Twitter for Android ProdrammerHumor.io

Behold, the ultimate college programming assignment: solving internet arguments with a .NET WinForms app! Instead of creating a sophisticated algorithm, this brilliant student built a "sarcasm converter" that transforms normal text into that mOcKiNg SpOnGeBoB format. The button literally says "cOnVeRt" with alternating caps—the universal syntax for sarcasm in the digital realm. Somewhere, a professor had to grade this masterpiece while questioning their career choices. The irony? This student probably spent more time on this than an actual assignment would have taken.

VLC Media Player isn't just software—it's a samurai warrior that slays every file format known to mankind. While other players cower in fear at obscure codecs, VLC stands there confidently wearing a traffic cone as a hat because it knows no file can defeat it. That .mkv with weird subtitles? That corrupted .mp4 everyone gave up on? That ancient .rm file from 2003? VLC just unsheathes its sword and whispers, "Bring it." The cone isn't a warning sign—it's a crown.

Content PEOPLE WHO PREFER WINDOWS PEORIENHO PREFEROSA PEOPLE THO PREFERITU? PEOPLE WHOPREFERBSD PEOPLE WHO REALIZE EACH OS HASITS ROLE PEOPIETHO DONTGIEASHIT

The classic "monkey puppet" meme perfectly captures the thousand-yard stare of veteran programmers when someone claims "you don't need to be a programmer to write software." That statement might sound innocent to the uninitiated, but anyone who survived Visual Basic, FrontPage, and Dreamweaver in the 90s knows the horror that follows. Sure, drag-and-drop interfaces made software "accessible" – right until you had to debug the absolute nightmare of auto-generated code that looked like it was written by a caffeinated toddler with a keyboard. The right panel showing ancient UI builder software is giving me flashbacks I didn't consent to.