Attempted Running Crysis On My Graduate Cap

Looks like Microsoft found a way to make the Grim Reaper redundant! First, they proudly announce that 30% of their code is now AI-generated, then their Windows 11 update decides SSDs should retire early. Nothing says "cutting-edge technology" quite like cutting the lifespan of your storage devices. Perhaps the AI misunderstood "planned obsolescence" as a feature, not a bug? Next update might just include a digital coffin for your entire system. At least now we know what KB stands for in those update codes - "Killing Bytes."

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Content ok ima Learn C on windows damn Can't find a compiler that works

BEHOLD! The utopian future we were ROBBED of because Excel insists on using Latin-1 encoding for CSV files instead of UTF-8! 🙄 We could've had flying cars, space elevators, and gleaming futuristic cities, but NOOO! Instead, we're stuck debugging weird characters like "é" and "’" every time someone dares to use a non-English character in their spreadsheet! The AUDACITY of Microsoft to keep us in the dark ages with their encoding choices! This is why we can't have nice things, people!

The sweet relief of returning to your terminal after a brief Windows excursion! That moment when you escape from hunting for Command Prompt, dealing with GUI-everything, and watching that spinning circle of doom. Linux users develop such a deep symbiotic relationship with their OS that even brief departures feel like exile. The dramatic collapse back into the loving embrace of bash scripts and package managers isn't just emotional—it's spiritual. Kernel panic? Still preferable to "Windows is updating, please do not turn off your computer."

Nothing quite like the primal rage of being denied permission to delete your own files on your own machine. The classic Windows permission dance: log in as admin, still get blocked, right-click, "Run as administrator," sacrifice a goat, perform a rain dance, and maybe— maybe —Windows will acknowledge your authority. Bonus points when you have to take ownership of files you already own. It's like having a butler who locks you out of your own kitchen because "sir doesn't have the proper credentials to operate the toaster."