All You Get In Return Are White Shortcuts And Utter Disappointment!

Content PROGRAMMING SKILL 00 02 04 06 08 10 12 M 16 13 30 22 24 26 BLOOD ALCOHOL CONCENTRATION () CALLED THE BALLMER PEAK, IT WAS DISCOVERED BY MICROSOFT IN THE LATE 80's. THE CAUSE IS UNKNOWN, BUT SOMEHOW A BAC. BETWEEN 0.129x AND 0.138 CONFERS SUPERHUMAN PROGRAMMING ABILITY. HOWEVER, IT'S A DELICATE EFFECT REQUIRING CAREFULCALIBRATION- YOU CAN'T JUST GIE A TEAM OF CODERS A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF WHISKEY AND TELL THEM TO GET CRACKING, HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED? REMEMBER WINDOWS ME? I KNEW IT! Procrammersumori

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of parents who think downloads have a pause button! 😱 This poor soul has resorted to multilingual warfare, posting a desperate "DO NOT DA COMPUTER" sign while Steam downloads "Sea of Thieves" at a glacial 37% complete. The Italian/Spanish warning below ("está scaricando un juego") translates to "it's downloading a game" - because apparently "don't touch" needs international reinforcement when you're dealing with download-interrupting parents who believe computers have a magical "I'll just quickly turn this off" feature that doesn't obliterate hours of progress. The struggle is REAL and the trauma is GENERATIONAL! 💀

VLC Media Player isn't just software—it's a samurai warrior that slays every file format known to mankind. While other players cower in fear at obscure codecs, VLC stands there confidently wearing a traffic cone as a hat because it knows no file can defeat it. That .mkv with weird subtitles? That corrupted .mp4 everyone gave up on? That ancient .rm file from 2003? VLC just unsheathes its sword and whispers, "Bring it." The cone isn't a warning sign—it's a crown.

The oldest joke in the OS wars still hits different after all these years. NASA actually does use Linux in space because it's reliable, customizable, and doesn't randomly decide to update when you're trying to not die in the vacuum of space. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to convince management that rebooting the production server during business hours is, in fact, a terrible idea. But hey, at least we're not trying to open Windows in space.

Content Graeme Coleman graemecoleman Hello, my name is Graeme, I have a PhD in computing, and I am a senior accessibility consultant, but when I want to type "" on a Windows laptop 1 go to Beyonc's Wikipedia page and copypaste the letter from there.

Congratulations! You've discovered the world's first storage glitch capable of holding the entire internet twice over! That beautiful blue highlight shows a casual 16,384 petabytes of unallocated space - approximately 16 exabytes or roughly 4 million times more storage than your average gaming PC. The irony? Windows 11 still refuses to install on it. Classic Microsoft - gives you enough space to store every Netflix show ever made but still throws a tantrum about system requirements. That error message is basically Windows saying "I don't care if you have enough space to simulate an entire universe, your TPM module isn't fancy enough."