When You're Not Really A Programming Language But Still Vibin' With The Big Boys

The code snippet reveals the dark truth behind those annoying cookie consent popups. Whether you click "Accept" or "Reject," the outcome is essentially identical—you're getting tracked either way! It's the digital equivalent of asking "Would you like me to spy on you?" and when you say "no," responding with "Cool, I'll spy on you discreetly instead." Privacy theater at its finest! The function names don't even try to hide it. At least they're honest in their dishonesty. Somewhere, a privacy advocate is having a nervous breakdown while a marketing exec is giving this code a standing ovation.

While politicians argue about what George Washington would think today, the truth is clear - our first president would've ditched the powdered wig for the sweet, sweet embrace of VS Code's dark theme. Forget crossing the Delaware; he'd be crossing breakpoints and merging pull requests. The man who couldn't tell a lie would definitely tell you to stop using Notepad++ and join the modern era. Constitutional amendments? Nah, he'd be more concerned with his extension recommendations and keyboard shortcuts. The father of our country would've been the father of clean, well-indented code.

STOP THE PRESSES! The computing world has been turned upside down as an HTML "programmer" somehow convinced the Turing Award committee they're an actual developer! The joke here is that HTML is a markup language, not a programming language - it's like giving a Nobel Prize in Physics to someone who put together IKEA furniture! The right side of the image shows the "genius" at work - literally just styling some text in a browser inspector. Next up: CSS artist wins Fields Medal for changing a background color to #2a2a2a. The computing community is in shambles!

The perfect example of form validation nobody thought to test. Nothing says "robust error handling" like asking a dead person if they've died before. Somewhere, a developer is patting themselves on the back for covering all logical possibilities while their QA team contemplates a career change. The ghost of proper user experience design weeps silently in the background. It's the digital equivalent of "Press 1 if you're not here." The kind of edge case that makes you question your life choices as a developer. Bonus points if the "Yes" option triggers a "Please provide death certificate as proof" upload field.

The unholy trinity of "rapid development" is on full display! The tweet claims Git, JavaScript, and Microsoft BASIC were all created in under a week—which is hilariously wrong and the perfect setup for the three-headed dragon meme below. Two fierce dragon heads represent Git and BASIC—powerful tools that required significant development time. But that third head? JavaScript with its derpy eyes and tongue sticking out perfectly captures how JS was indeed cobbled together in 10 days by Brendan Eich in 1995. Fun fact: Linus Torvalds spent months creating Git after the BitKeeper controversy, and BASIC took significant development at Microsoft. Meanwhile, JavaScript—despite being slapped together in a mad rush to compete with Java—somehow powers most of the modern web. Proof that sometimes the derpy dragon wins!

When your pickup line is literally just recounting global infrastructure failures, you know you've reached peak developer romance. Bringing up that time half the internet went down is apparently the new "Do you come here often?" The girl's reaction says it all—she's either genuinely impressed that someone else was also refreshing their status page every 30 seconds during the outage, or she's plotting her escape route. Either way, this conversation is going better than Cloudflare's uptime that day. Pro tip: If mentioning DNS failures gets you this kind of response, you've found your soulmate. Time to move on to discussing your favorite HTTP status codes on the second date.