The Startup Equity Trap

When Stack Overflow is down and desperate times call for desperate measures... Turns out "JavaScript tutorials" on adult websites are surprisingly educational. Who knew that "Excel Column to Number" and "JavaScript Arrays" could be so... stimulating? The real kicker is the 100% satisfaction rating—clearly delivering exactly what was promised. Debugging has never been so exciting! Let's be honest, most of us have used shadier resources than this when trying to fix that one bug at 2 AM. At least these videos have better production value than most coding bootcamps.

Ah, the noble "Pull Stack Developer" – the honest job title we all deserve but never put on our LinkedIn profiles. While everyone's busy pretending they invented their algorithms from scratch, this hero admits what we actually do: frantically copy-paste from Stack Overflow while praying the dependencies don't break. It's not stealing, it's "leveraging community resources." The modern developer's workflow is basically: Google, copy, paste, debug someone else's mistakes, then take full credit in the standup meeting. Efficiency at its finest!

The aristocratic frog has spoken! Nothing captures the eternal suffering of UI developers quite like getting last-minute "can we make it pop more?" requests after spending half a year perfecting a design that was already approved. The formal announcement style makes it even more painful—like receiving a royal decree that your weekend is now canceled because someone suddenly decided buttons should be rounder. The classic "design by committee" nightmare where everyone becomes a UX expert exactly one week before launch. RIP deployment schedule.

Ah, the beautiful absurdity of JavaScript! The expression (() => {})() transforms into {} followed by () and a semicolon. It's literally an immediately invoked function expression (IIFE) that returns an empty object, which then gets treated like a function call, followed by a completely disconnected semicolon. The beauty here? This syntactically valid gibberish does absolutely nothing useful. It's like building an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that just turns itself off. Peak JavaScript moment where you can write code that's simultaneously correct and completely pointless. No wonder the poor soul is questioning their reality!

The dirty secret of the media processing world is that your fancy video converter, transcoder, or "AI-powered multimedia solution" is just FFmpeg in a trench coat. Companies slap a GUI on it, rename a few buttons, charge you $49.99, and call it revolutionary. Meanwhile, FFmpeg sits in the background doing all the actual work like that one colleague who never gets credit in meetings.

The ultimate punishment isn't solitary confinement—it's forced JavaScript training! Finnish prison rehabilitation just got real with the judge sentencing criminals to two years of callback hell, prototype inheritance, and "undefined is not a function" errors. The prisoner's face says it all: that moment when you realize your crime only warranted a misdemeanor but somehow you're getting punished with learning hoisting and closures. At least in regular prison you just break rocks instead of trying to figure out why this keeps changing context. The real torture? Waiting for npm packages to install on prison wifi.