The Startup Equity Trap

The duality of API testing tools is just *chef's kiss*. While normal developers see Postman as a simple wrench to fix API requests, Postman sees itself as the Apple of testing tools – complete with grandiose keynotes and revolutionary features nobody asked for. What started as a humble Chrome extension has evolved into a bloated ecosystem that requires 16GB of RAM just to send a GET request. Meanwhile, developers just want to check if their endpoint returns a 200 OK without having to join a cult. The irony? We're all still using it while complaining about it. Stockholm syndrome for developers.

The bell curve of developer intelligence strikes again. In the middle, the 68% majority just want a text editor that works without drama. Meanwhile, at both extremes of the IQ spectrum, we have the "VSCode is just simpler" crowd who can't be bothered to learn keyboard shortcuts. Then there's the crying Vim zealot, tears streaming down their face while screaming about efficiency and how Electron is bloated. And somewhere in the shadows, VSCodium users silently judge everyone while using essentially the same editor but without Microsoft's telemetry. The irony is delicious.

When your security audit consists of pressing "OK" and moving on. Somewhere, a security engineer just felt a disturbance in the force. The perfect mix of horrifying vulnerability and casual acknowledgment - just click "OK" and pretend you didn't see that any user could inject JavaScript and rewrite an entire website for years. Security through obscurity at its finest.

The ABSOLUTE MIRACLE of building an API that works on the first try versus the 420th attempt and still having the EXACT SAME reaction! 💀 That magical moment when your code finally runs after 419 failures and you're STILL just as thrilled as the first time? Pure developer Stockholm syndrome! We're literally celebrating not being tortured anymore! The bar is in HELL and we're doing limbo with the devil!

American developers reaching for their debugging tool of choice when someone suggests running JavaScript on the server. Node.js advocates better run for cover! The only thing more dangerous than JavaScript's type coercion is a developer who's been forced to debug asynchronous callback hell at 2 AM. Second amendment rights apparently extend to protecting your codebase from terrible architectural decisions.

The AUDACITY of calling this a "gaming setup" when we all know it's actually "How many monitors does it take to convince your boss you're productive?" 😂 Let's be real - we're all stuck at #1 at home while claiming we have #6 in our LinkedIn profiles. And that #9 laptop? That's what we dramatically whip out at coffee shops to look important while secretly just checking email. The progression from single monitor peasant to six-screen overlord isn't about gaming - it's the developer's desperate cry for validation! "Look at all my terminals! I MUST be important!"