The Startup Equity Trap

When you ask a junior dev to implement OAuth and they take "social login" to a whole new dimension. Normal OAuth providers? Boring! Let's authenticate with a potato, your mom, and Beef Caldereta instead! Nothing says "secure authentication flow" like logging in with a PDF or your physical address. The cherry on top is "Login with Caution" - the only button that's actually giving sound security advice here.

The ultimate API gaslighting experience! Your request gets a perfect HTTP 200 OK status code, signaling all is well in the universe. Then the response body hits you with {"error": true} . It's like your server saying "Yes, I received your request perfectly! Also, everything is on fire." The digital equivalent of someone nodding enthusiastically while whispering "absolutely not." REST APIs that can't even be honest about their emotional state deserve their own special circle in developer hell.

The dictionary definition we all feared but never admitted. Turns out "full stack" just means you've successfully convinced HR you can fumble your way through both sides of the application. It's that special talent of being equally mediocre at everything instead of exceptionally bad at just one thing. Job security through diversified incompetence.

The sweet release of a RAM-induced system crash – nature's way of telling you to take a break. Nothing says "professional developer" like treating your browser like a deranged filing cabinet. Why organize bookmarks when you can just sacrifice 16GB of RAM to the Chrome gods? That satisfying moment when your fans start screaming like they're auditioning for a jet engine and Task Manager becomes completely unresponsive... pure bliss. It's not a memory leak, it's a "forced productivity reset technique."

The modern developer's secret weapon: copy-pasting AI-generated code without understanding a single line of it. Nothing says "senior engineer" like frantically Googling what your own code does when someone asks about it. The best part? That magical moment when you realize you've been confidently deploying code that you've essentially been taking dictation on. "It validates form data" is just fancy speak for "I have absolutely no idea what this eldritch horror does but it hasn't crashed production yet."

The person who invented HTTP status code 418 ("I'm a teapot") single-handedly disproved the notion that veteran developers lack humor. While regular programmers were busy writing boring if-else statements, this legend was embedding an April Fools' joke directly into internet protocol standards that would confuse junior devs for generations. It's the programming equivalent of dad jokes achieving immortality through RFC documentation. The kind of brilliant absurdity that makes you question if you're hallucinating while debugging at 3 AM.