New Web Developers Be Like

Even Death can't kill Internet Explorer properly. The Grim Reaper shows up with his "It's time to go" speech, but IE just freezes with the classic "Internet Explorer is not responding" message. The ultimate irony - a browser so slow it can't even die on time. Microsoft's digital cockroach somehow outlived its usefulness by a decade yet still managed to be the default browser for corporate America until IT finally got permission to upgrade... to Edge.

DARLING, the AUDACITY of comparing formal education to the chaotic NIGHTMARE that is programming! While lawyers and doctors spend YEARS in prestigious institutions memorizing boring facts, we developers are out here living on the EDGE—frantically copy-pasting from Stack Overflow at 3 AM, fueled by nothing but energy drinks and sheer desperation! Our education system? Google University, baby! Our diploma? That miracle moment when the code FINALLY works and you have NO IDEA WHY. The modern programmer's battle cry isn't "I studied for this"—it's "I just keep Googling stuff and it keeps working" *dramatic hair flip* And honestly? That's the most beautiful disaster I've ever seen.

The structural integrity of this web app is questionable at best! Building a complex application with just HTML is like constructing this wonky mint-green building with only concrete and prayers. No CSS to style it properly, no JavaScript for functionality—just raw markup holding everything together by sheer force of will. The building even has that "I forgot to close a div tag somewhere" energy with that oddly slanted roof. 10/10 would not pass a code review OR a building inspection.

Ah, the glorious transformation that happens when your pull request finally gets merged! You start as a nervous junior dev in a plain suit, questioning your life choices and code quality. Then BAM—suddenly you're royalty, adorned with medals of honor and sitting on the throne of Git superiority. The best part? That awkward moment when you submit a PR at 11:59 PM with 17 commented-out debug statements and a commit message that just says "fix stuff" – and somehow it still gets approved. Instant transformation from peasant to king of the codebase! And yes, all my repos are public too... which means everyone can witness both my moments of coding brilliance and the absolute dumpster fires I create before the PR gets polished. It's like having your teenage photos permanently displayed in Times Square.

The existential dread noose is tightening around everyone's neck! Developers think they're special snowflakes trembling about AI taking their precious coding jobs, while completely forgetting that translators, designers, and support staff have been dangling from the gallows of automation for months already. It's like watching someone panic about a tsunami while standing next to people who are already neck-deep in water. The irony is that devs are literally building the very AI tools that will eventually replace them. Talk about sawing off the branch you're sitting on!

The classic "I'll fix my broken code by switching to a no-code platform" saga. This guy's app is falling apart because his cursor is apparently sentient and malicious. Instead of learning secure coding practices, he's jumping to Bubble - the equivalent of bringing a Fisher-Price toolset to fix a nuclear reactor. Then when called out, responds with "why aren't you positive?" which is developer-speak for "please validate my terrible decisions." Truly the software development equivalent of trying to put out a fire with gasoline and wondering why everyone's screaming instead of applauding.