If You Have No Job You Must Suffer

OMG, the EVOLUTION of code ownership in three acts of pure DRAMA! 🎭 Act I: Designers having an absolute MELTDOWN over similar ideas. One's all smug while the other is literally CRYING TEARS OF RAGE! The audacity! Act II: Programmers being utterly UNBOTHERED. "I stole your code" meets "It's not my code" with the emotional investment of discussing yesterday's weather. The NONCHALANCE is killing me! Act III: GitHub users achieving PEAK ENLIGHTENMENT. Not only is stealing acknowledged, it's THANKED FOR! This is the digital equivalent of someone breaking into your house and you offering them tea for reorganizing your furniture! Welcome to open source, where your precious code belongs to EVERYONE and nobody simultaneously. What's mine is yours and what's yours is... forked.

JavaScript's parseInt() function is like that one coworker who ignores all your emails until you add exactly seven zeroes after the decimal point. The function stubbornly returns 0 for every decimal value, until suddenly—at 0.0000005—it decides "Oh, I see a 5 now!" and returns 5. It's like watching someone squint harder and harder at tiny text until they finally give up and just read whatever letter they think they see. The floating point precision gods have spoken, and they've chosen chaos.

Writing regex from scratch is basically a criminal offense in the developer world. It's like trying to defuse a bomb while blindfolded—sure, it might work, but the chances of creating an eldritch horror that matches everything except what you want are astronomically high. Even seasoned developers break out in cold sweats when faced with crafting regex patterns without the safety net of StackOverflow or regex101.com. The prison inmate's reaction is completely justified—this is the kind of reckless behavior that gets your pull requests rejected and your commit privileges revoked!

THE BETRAYAL! The programming world depicted as an Among Us game where HTML5 is DRAMATICALLY revealed as the impostor because it's not ACTUALLY a programming language! The absolute SCANDAL of it all! HTML strutting around in its markup language disguise, pretending to be part of the cool programming gang with CSS, JavaScript, PHP and others. The AUDACITY! Meanwhile, real programming languages are looking at HTML like "Honey, you're just formatting text and we all know it." The ultimate tech world gatekeeping moment that has divided friendships and started keyboard wars since the dawn of web development!

Ah, the classic Medium experience. Shows up all excited with pizza (free articles), only to discover the place is literally on fire with paywalled content, AI garbage, and people yelling at each other about tech stacks. Yet we keep coming back like digital masochists. The "Stop using X" articles are particularly chef's-kiss terrible—written by someone who used the technology for exactly 37 minutes before declaring it "fundamentally broken."

The most tragic love story in programming: someone asking "Do you still love me?" and getting a response with a syntax error. That semicolon before "yes" is basically saying "I'm breaking up with you in JavaScript." The compiler caught the red flag before she did. Next time just ghost her like a proper undefined variable.