Every Senior Dev's Personal Website

Ah, the inevitable evolution of every code warrior! First you're Patrick Star - blissfully unaware that your "hello world" program is held together with digital duct tape. Then comes the SpongeBob phase - bright-eyed and thinking "I'll revolutionize tech with my clean code practices!" Fast forward a few years and *boom* - you're Squidward, staring at legacy code written by your past self, wondering why you chose this career path instead of opening that beach-side taco stand. The transformation from "what's a semicolon?" to "I will end whoever wrote this dependency" is basically a developer rite of passage. It's not burnout, it's enlightenment! 🧘‍♂️

THE ETERNAL ZOMBIE LANGUAGE THAT REFUSES TO DIE! 💀 For THREE DECADES developers have been screaming "PHP is dead!" while frantically pushing the next hot framework. ColdFusion! ASP.NET! Ruby on Rails! Django! NextJS! Each one supposedly hammering the final nail in PHP's coffin. Meanwhile, PHP is just sitting there, powering like 78% of the internet, sipping tea and planning its 30th birthday party. The ultimate comeback story! The cockroach of programming languages that survives every nuclear framework bomb dropped on it! And the irony? We're still typing

The multi-monitor dependency is REAL . Once you've experienced the sweet digital real estate of three screens, your productivity gets absolutely wrecked when forced back to laptop life. It's like trying to code through a keyhole. Your workflow becomes a crawl, your IDE tabs multiply like rabbits, and Alt+Tab becomes your most abused keyboard shortcut. The stretcher scene is basically your productivity being carried away on life support. Trust me, I've been there - frantically searching for HDMI adapters in hotel rooms like some kind of display junkie.

HONEY, PLEASE! The expectations vs. reality of programming is the most dramatic betrayal since my coffee promised to wake me up but didn't! 💅 Everyone thinks we're these mysterious hackers in hoodies, typing at lightning speed with perfect precision. Meanwhile, the ACTUAL truth is us staring at the screen with the emotional depth of a confused child trying to solve quantum physics after eating glue. That look of existential dread isn't because we're contemplating complex algorithms - it's because we've spent 4 HOURS trying to find a missing semicolon! THE AUDACITY of programming languages to break over punctuation!

Spent 15 years in tech and the only "domination" I've seen is guys wearing circuit board patterned clothes and arguing about tabs vs spaces. The irony of claiming CS is male-dominated while rocking that circuit board top is *chef's kiss*. Meanwhile, the actual field is begging for diversity because we're tired of the same three personalities in every standup meeting.

STOP THE PRESSES! The computing world has been turned upside down as an HTML "programmer" somehow convinced the Turing Award committee they're an actual developer! The joke here is that HTML is a markup language, not a programming language - it's like giving a Nobel Prize in Physics to someone who put together IKEA furniture! The right side of the image shows the "genius" at work - literally just styling some text in a browser inspector. Next up: CSS artist wins Fields Medal for changing a background color to #2a2a2a. The computing community is in shambles!