Every Senior Dev's Personal Website

The perfect self-burn doesn't exi— Oh wait, here it is! Reddit suggesting r/Rust is "Similar to r/ProgrammerHumor" while someone declares "Goodbye, C++. Rust is the future." is peak irony. The title "Both Subs Are For Jokes" is the chef's kiss - implying that Rust evangelism and programming humor are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like religiously announcing the death of established languages. Memory safety or memory insanity? The line blurs when the Rust cult assembles.

PHP has been declared dead more times than a horror movie villain, yet somehow it's still powering like 80% of the web. The language that everyone loves to hate but secretly depends on is basically the tech equivalent of that cockroach that survives the nuclear apocalypse. Modern frameworks? Got 'em. Composer package management? Check. Type hinting? Sure, why not. Meanwhile, the "cool kids" with their shiny new JavaScript frameworks are on version 47.3.2 and your app broke because someone updated a dependency by one minor version. PHP's secret to immortality? It just works. No idea how. No idea why. It just refuses to die, much to the chagrin of computer science professors everywhere.

First the cute anime kid begs you to stop scrolling, then hits you with that deadpan stare and the cold hard truth: "Stop using JavaScript on Server." Look, I've been around since jQuery was hot stuff. Node.js showed up and suddenly everyone's running JavaScript on servers like it's a good idea. Ten years and 47 npm vulnerabilities later, we're still pretending this language designed to validate form fields should run our entire backend infrastructure. The kid's right. Sometimes you need a strongly typed intervention from a cartoon toddler to snap out of your JavaScript Stockholm syndrome.

When your job title says "Full Stack" but the reality is "All Stack." That moment when your manager points to the vast digital kingdom and says "you'll be responsible for all of this." From front-end to back-end, DevOps to database administration, and somehow you're also the IT support guy who fixes Karen's printer. The only thing missing from your job description is "ability to bend space-time to fit 80 hours of work into a 40-hour week." Recruiters call it "wearing multiple hats" but really it's "wearing the entire hat store."

Remember the dark ages of programming? Two devs claim they've time-traveled, but when asked "when?" they decide to ask someone nearby for help. The punchline hits when they ask how to center a div (the eternal CSS nightmare) and get told to "look it up in the CSS manual." The final panel reveals this happened "before ChatGPT and StackOverflow" - back when we had to read actual documentation instead of copy-pasting solutions. Truly barbaric times. Some say senior devs still have nightmares about physical reference books.

The perfect illustration of the Halting Problem in action! On the left, we have the naive developer who thinks they can write code to detect infinite loops. In the middle, the sobbing realization that computer science theory literally proves this is impossible. And on the right? The chaotic energy of a developer who just says "screw it" and puts an arbitrary limit on iterations because theoretical constraints are no match for a hungry programmer with a deadline. Ironically, this has absolutely nothing to do with Svelte, making the title the chef's kiss of this computational tragedy. The bell curve of developer intelligence strikes again - the geniuses and the fools somehow reaching the same practical solution while the theoretically correct folks are stuck crying in the middle.