Every Senior Dev's Personal Website

Senior devs handing you a bottle of "Hard to swallow pills" only to reveal that "REGEX IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED. YOU ARE JUST STUPID." is the programming equivalent of gaslighting. Sure, and I suppose ^(?=.*[A-Za-z])(?=.*\d)[A-Za-z\d]{8,}$ is just light bedtime reading? Nothing says "I'm intellectually superior" like pretending that hieroglyphics designed by sadists with keyboard Tourette's is actually simple. Next they'll tell us that CSS centering is intuitive and JavaScript promises are straightforward.

THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of slot 404 being EMPTY while Pepsi bottles sit in slots 403 and 405! It's the most DEVASTATING HTTP status code brought to life in a vending machine! Your mom will NEVER understand why you're cackling like a maniac at what appears to be a normal beverage selection. But WE know the truth - that's a "404 Not Found" error in physical form, sweetie! The universe literally created a monument to missing resources right between two perfectly functional drinks. This is what happens when the simulation glitches!

Ah, the accidental genius of modern tech. Discord accidentally created the world's most efficient view bot by making everyone so angry about loot boxes that they're rage-watching the announcement trailer on repeat. Nothing drives engagement like pure, unbridled hatred! The irony is delicious - 156 million views from people saying "please don't do this thing." After two decades in this industry, I've learned that user outrage is the most reliable metric of all. Want engagement? Just announce something terrible.

The eternal frontend vs. backend war strikes again! Some backend developer clearly thought UI was just "JSON with line numbers" and called it a day. Instead of creating an actual interface with buttons and graphics, they've just dumped the raw data structure onto a smartwatch screen. It's literally just a JSON object with fitness stats displayed in code format - complete with syntax highlighting! The irony is delicious - right after claiming frontend is "useless," they've created the most programmer-friendly yet user-hostile interface imaginable. Only a true backend purist would think displaying raw key-value pairs is an acceptable UI. Next update: they'll probably add more brackets and semicolons to "enhance the user experience."

Ah yes, academic literature—where JavaScript and Java are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I've thoroughly researched programming" like casually dropping "(or Java)" as if they're interchangeable aliases. That's like saying "I'll drive my Ferrari (or bicycle)" to work today. This is the same energy as textbooks claiming HTML is a programming language or that "the hacker known as 4chan" is a person. No wonder Stack Overflow exists—it's to recover from the brain damage caused by reading these educational masterpieces.

TypeScript promises type safety but then gives us the any type - basically a backdoor that lets you smuggle in whatever garbage you want. The cat's horrified expression is every senior dev watching junior devs slap any on everything to make TypeScript errors go away. "TypeScript: JS with syntax for types" *looks inside* "any" - congratulations, you've defeated the entire purpose of using TypeScript in the first place!