But Performance

This is the programmer's version of "give a man a fish" that hits way too close to home. Sure, you can hand someone a working program and watch them struggle for 24 hours trying to figure out why the console is spitting out gibberish. But teach them to code? Congratulations, you've just sentenced them to an eternity of Stack Overflow tabs, mysterious semicolon errors, and the existential dread that comes with realizing your code works but you have absolutely no idea why. The best part? We voluntarily sign up for this torture and then have the audacity to call it a "passion." Masochists, the lot of us.

Poor vanilla JS developer sitting in a pool of judgment while everyone else enjoys their framework-enhanced lives. The classic "why aren't you using React/Angular/Vue?" interrogation that happens at every dev meetup. Writing raw JavaScript in 2023 is like showing up to a gunfight with a sharpened pencil – technically a weapon, but you're gonna have a bad time. The framework folks will never let you swim in peace!

Sleep is just a myth in our industry, like documentation that's actually up-to-date or clients who know what they want. The handle @ipv4fan is just *chef's kiss* - clinging to IPv4 like the rest of us cling to caffeine at 2 AM debugging sessions. You know you've made it as a developer when your sleep tracker app files a missing person report. The real 10x engineers aren't the ones who code faster - they're the ones who've evolved beyond the need for REM sleep.

The classic developer priority pyramid in its natural habitat. Car? Barely functional. House? Literal fire hazard. Phone? Shattered beyond recognition. But that desktop setup? Immaculate . RGB lighting that would make NASA jealous, triple monitors for "productivity," and a chair that costs more than the monthly mortgage payment. Because when you spend 18 hours a day debugging someone else's spaghetti code, you need something in your life that actually works properly. The rest can wait until after the next sprint.

The classic dad-meets-boyfriend scenario gets a programming twist. When asked what he uses "on the client," this smooth operator decides to flex with "I'm a vibe coder, and my clients don't code" – possibly the worst answer in the history of developer pickup lines. It's that special blend of buzzword nonsense and zero technical substance that makes every senior developer's soul leave their body. The only appropriate response? "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE." And honestly, fair enough. Anyone who unironically calls themselves a "vibe coder" deserves to be escorted off the premises immediately.

The Jenga tower of modern software development! A goat somehow balancing on a precarious stack of random objects is the perfect metaphor for production code. At the bottom, there's Google—the foundation of all knowledge. Then StackOverflow—because who actually knows how to code without copy-pasting? Next comes "Indian guy on YouTube" who explains in 5 minutes what your CS degree couldn't in 4 years. Old repositories contribute their legacy spaghetti, and finally, pure dumb luck holds it all together. Meanwhile, the bewildered development team stands by wondering how this monstrosity hasn't collapsed yet. Spoiler alert: nobody knows. It just works until it doesn't.