My Neovim Experience So Far

The ultimate privacy solution: replace every Google service with Vim. Because nothing says "I value my digital freedom" like editing your emails with keyboard shortcuts that require a PhD to memorize. Want to check your calendar? Just type :calendar and pray you remember how to exit. Need directions? Good luck rendering Google Maps in ASCII. The irony of replacing ChatGPT with Vim is just *chef's kiss* - trading one text interface that understands you for one that makes you want to throw your computer out the window.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY to classify Vim users as having a "disability"! 💀 The most savage burn in web development history! Keyboard warriors everywhere are CLUTCHING their mechanical keyboards in horror! Because let's be honest, nothing says "I make life unnecessarily complicated for myself" like spending 6 months learning how to exit an editor. Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants with our mouse-clicking privileges are just trying to navigate websites without typing ":wq" to submit a form. The struggle is REAL, people!

Ah, corporate security logic at its finest! Some poor soul clicks a sketchy email attachment, and suddenly management's brilliant security strategy is "if it's free, it's a threat." Imagine telling developers to uninstall Python, Vim, and 7zip because they didn't come with an invoice. Next they'll be requiring receipts for your keyboard shortcuts. The real security threat isn't free software—it's the executive who thinks obscure paid software with three users worldwide is inherently secure because it cost exactly one corporate credit card approval. Meanwhile, the hacker who sent that email is probably using those same "insecure" free tools to plan their next attack. The irony would be delicious if it weren't so painful.

From moon landings to being trapped in Vim—what a downgrade! The 1960s programmer stands tall with actual documentation and the audacity to claim they'll conquer space, while 2025's version is just a doge meme begging for help to escape an editor that's been around since 1991. Modern devs have ChatGPT, StackOverflow, and Spotify, yet still can't figure out how to type ":q!" without a Reddit thread. Progress? I think not. The only thing we're flying to these days is the coffee machine between debugging sessions.

You're sitting there proud of yourself for using a debugger and waiting a whole 60 seconds for your IDE to boot up, thinking you're doing pretty well. Then you look at the leaderboard and realize you're competing against: • A guy who's literally on Adderall speedrunning problems with pre-written scripts • Someone doing APL puzzles on a System/360 emulator for fun (their HTML 2.0 compliant homepage confirms they're clinically insane) • An Eastern European dev making $200k who types faster than your brain can process thoughts • A Linux kernel hacker golfing in languages that sound like Lovecraftian incantations and measuring performance in clock cycles • A Chinese prodigy who's been institutionalized since age 3 and needs a PhD in discrete math just to understand their solutions • And finally, the most terrifying of all: an IT support guy forced to solve everything in Excel VBA who somehow channels the collective knowledge of every Indian educational YouTuber ever Competitive programming: where your imposter syndrome gets imposter syndrome.

The ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of being a Vim user in social situations! 😱 When someone introduces themselves, your brain doesn't store their name in normal memory—it gets filed under "Vim Keybindings" alongside your escape routes! The poor soul's brain is literally SCANNING through Vim commands to exit a conversation like it's a terminal they're desperately trying to close! That ":wq to exit conversation" is the digital equivalent of faking a phone call to escape small talk. The struggle is CATASTROPHICALLY real when your social protocol runs on the same system as your text editor!