I Use Vim Btw

Behold the NIGHTMARE that is trying to write Bash scripts! 😱 The top panel shows those fancy modern frameworks (VS Code, React, Node.js) smugly telling you to "just be confident" when approaching coding. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the HORRIFYING TRUTH of what happens when you dare venture into Bash scripting territory - you transform into a deranged possum-creature questioning your entire existence! No amount of "confidence" can prepare you for the soul-crushing experience of debugging a Bash script where a single missing space or semicolon turns your beautiful code into an eldritch horror. The Vim logo lurking in the corner is just *chef's kiss* perfection - as if to say "welcome to your doom!"

Ah, the sacred scrolls of developer archetypes. The Barbarian who worships C and recites man pages is just your average Unix greybeard who thinks anything after Perl is heresy. The Rogue is basically every crypto bro with questionable ethics and a VPN. Wizards are those mythical 10x developers whose code is so advanced no one can maintain it after they leave. Clerics are the TDD zealots who'd rather write tests than actually ship anything. And Druids? Just sysadmins who've spent so much time in server rooms they've started identifying as network packets. I've worked with all five. The Druid still owes me $20 and insists I call him "FoxTail69" at happy hour.

The eternal editor war continues, but now with Olympic precision! On the left, we have the high-tech sniper with all the bells and whistles—VS Code armed with AI copilot and enough extensions to crash your RAM. Perfect form, specialized gear, probably takes 30 seconds just to load. Meanwhile on the right, there's our Notepad++ champion—slightly disheveled, glasses askew, but still somehow getting the job done with what's essentially a text file and a prayer. The coding equivalent of bringing a pistol to an artillery fight. And then there's me with Nano, watching from the audience with a slingshot and a rock. At least I can exit the editor without Googling how.

Ah yes, the classic "just use confidence" advice that falls apart when facing Vim. The top panel shows VS Code, React, and Node.js giving that smooth reassurance like they're the cool kids at school. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the horrifying reality of a developer trying to exit Vim for the first time. No amount of confidence prepares you for that moment when you realize :q! might as well be ancient hieroglyphics. The "Are you sure?" is just Vim's way of saying "You sweet summer child, you have no power here."

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute tragedy of every Neovim convert's life! 😭 There you are, being PEER PRESSURED by some terminal zealot who swears Neovim will change your life if you just add 47 more plugins, configure 239 more settings, and memorize keyboard shortcuts that require you to contort your fingers like a professional pianist with a vendetta. Meanwhile, you're drowning in tears trying to remember how to save a file without accidentally launching a nuclear missile. The endless promise of "just one more config" is the biggest lie since "I've read and agree to the terms of service." Your IDE is RIGHT THERE, silently judging you as you spiral into dot-file madness!

Sweet mother of backslashes! The absolute AUDACITY of this developer thinking Vim regex and Perl regex are interchangeable! Honey, that's like showing up to a knife fight with a spoon! 💀 The final panel is the regex equivalent of a horror movie jumpscare - that unholy abomination of backslashes would make any text file burst into flames! And a 700MB text file?! Who hurt you?!