I Use Vim Btw

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY to classify Vim users as having a "disability"! 💀 The most savage burn in web development history! Keyboard warriors everywhere are CLUTCHING their mechanical keyboards in horror! Because let's be honest, nothing says "I make life unnecessarily complicated for myself" like spending 6 months learning how to exit an editor. Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants with our mouse-clicking privileges are just trying to navigate websites without typing ":wq" to submit a form. The struggle is REAL, people!

The perfect Vim soundtrack doesn't exi— Oh wait, it does! A Spotify playlist for Vim users with song titles that perfectly capture the existential crisis of first-time Vim users: "What Am I Doing Here" - every developer's first thought after accidentally opening Vim "How Did I Get Here" - the moment of panic sets in as you realize normal keyboard shortcuts don't work "Can't Get Out" - the universal Vim experience of frantically trying to exit (hint: it's :q!) "Asdfjkl;" - just random key mashing hoping something works The 1246 saves represent all the StackOverflow searches for "how to exit vim" that have saved countless developer careers.

Ah, the sacred scrolls of developer archetypes. The Barbarian who worships C and recites man pages is just your average Unix greybeard who thinks anything after Perl is heresy. The Rogue is basically every crypto bro with questionable ethics and a VPN. Wizards are those mythical 10x developers whose code is so advanced no one can maintain it after they leave. Clerics are the TDD zealots who'd rather write tests than actually ship anything. And Druids? Just sysadmins who've spent so much time in server rooms they've started identifying as network packets. I've worked with all five. The Druid still owes me $20 and insists I call him "FoxTail69" at happy hour.

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

Behold the NIGHTMARE that is trying to write Bash scripts! 😱 The top panel shows those fancy modern frameworks (VS Code, React, Node.js) smugly telling you to "just be confident" when approaching coding. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the HORRIFYING TRUTH of what happens when you dare venture into Bash scripting territory - you transform into a deranged possum-creature questioning your entire existence! No amount of "confidence" can prepare you for the soul-crushing experience of debugging a Bash script where a single missing space or semicolon turns your beautiful code into an eldritch horror. The Vim logo lurking in the corner is just *chef's kiss* perfection - as if to say "welcome to your doom!"

The glorious fall of programmer dignity, visualized in perfect clarity. Once upon a time, developers were digital demigods who wrote code without AI crutches, built entire games in Assembly (because apparently suffering builds character), crafted code that literally sent humans to the moon, and performed memory management wizardry by hand. Fast forward to today's pathetic reality: developers frantically Googling how to center a div (still an unsolved mystery of computer science), begging ChatGPT to fix basic syntax errors, getting permanently trapped in Vim like it's some kind of developer Hotel California, and introducing three new bugs while fixing one—a net negative contribution to humanity. The evolution from muscle-bound coding titans to helpless brain-worms perfectly captures how we've traded actual knowledge for dependency on tools. Progress!