The Polite Developer Brush-Off

Content Cramenge, de chattengea py ana unte win an amazing team Automate anything you find yourself doing manually once Focus on outcomes, ship frequently to learn and improve Constantly assess and improve our processes Report to CTO, grow as a leader and human Must haves: US citizenship and based in continental US Strong problem-solving skills, quality focused and a growth mindset 3-300 years software engineering experience, preferably in a proaucuDTC company Proficient in JavaScript or TypeScript and ReactReact Native Aptitude for working full-stack, writing automated tests DevOps You have a burning desire to learn new things Nice to haves: Node, GraphQL, Machine Learning, Firebase, GCP K8s experience Data warehousing, BI Reporting tool experience Irrationally passionate (at least about one thing) You are flexible, creative, and curious about how mental health could be for kids and families Low ego and sense of humor :) .Startup early-stage company experience What's in it for you? Pride that everyday you're making a difference and that's making a difference in kids' mental health Design, develop ship code faster than ever and marvel at your impact Autonomy. Never be bored or wondering what you're doing it all for Challenge yourself intellectually emotionally Remote-first company (we had it dialed before the whole world joined) Work with a super ambitious, humble and smart team Salary, benefits, stock options, paid holidays mental health days, and guilt-free unlimited PTO show less in Easy Apply Save

Content I'M AJS DEVELOPER IT MEANS HE'S AFRAID OF TYPES UNSIGNED INT IS DEVELOPER ? I CAN DO TYPESCRIPT! STOP IT PATRICK, YOU'RE SCARING HIM

OMG, the AUDACITY of developers who think they're sooooo clever turning a perfectly respectable if-else statement into that one-liner ternary abomination! 💅 Look at Fancy Pooh in his tuxedo thinking he's ROYALTY because he saved three whole lines of code! Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants have to decipher your "elegant" syntax during code reviews. I'm literally DYING at how we all pretend this makes us sophisticated when we're just trying to impress each other with code golf! 🙄

Ah, the hierarchy of syntax pain! Missing a semicolon? Your compiler throws a fit. But that missing curly brace? That's not just a syntax error—that's an existential crisis waiting to happen. Nothing quite compares to the special hell of hunting down an unmatched bracket in 2000 lines of code at 3 AM while questioning every life decision that led you to this moment. It's not debugging anymore; it's spiritual warfare.

Content UGH MoMMY THOSE TWO MEN ARE developing a Javascript framework BASEBALL DONT Look AT THEM, RICKY. I DONT WANT YOU TO BE INFLUENCED BY... OHGODNO RICKYYY - EXTRA FABULOUS COMICS - IT IS Too LATE, MOTHER i' m creating a next level, small yet powerfull, api-driven, module based, nodedeno compatible, fast-prototyping, Typescript enabeld, .io-Solution with real developers in mind. 2M5

Content coming back to Javascript after writing Typescript for years Damn, bitch, you live like this? 1995