The Polite Developer Brush-Off

The JavaScript paradox in its purest form! The yellow JS logo with the tagline "Hated by all, used by all" is basically the programming equivalent of fast food – nobody admits to liking it, yet the drive-thru line stretches around the block. The language that launched a thousand Stack Overflow questions continues its reign of necessary evil. Your codebase is probably 60% JavaScript, 30% regret, and 10% StackOverflow copy-paste. Let's face it, we're all in a toxic relationship with those curly braces.

Content as any as unknown

Content STOP DOING TYPES VARIABLES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MEANING. YEARS OF CODING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for assigning more than a CHAR. Wanted to assign meaning anyway for a laugh? We had a method for that: It was called "GUESSING" "Yes please give me NULL of something. Please give me ANY of it." LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the compilers debuggers we built for them. (This is SUPERIOR TYPESCRIPT, done by MASTERFUL Developers): type ConditionalTypeT T extends string type PizzaTopping "4" PromiseArrayRecordstring, unknown ? T extends "infer Firstinfer Rest? UppercaseFirst Rest ???? ??????? ???????????? "Hello, I would like never apples please" They have played us for absolute clowns.

Content JavaScript enthusiasts loving this easy type-free language 44 Industry adopting TypeScript because fuck you

Content terminally online engine... tek.... 19h We Abandoned Version Control and Saved Hundreds of Engineering Hours a Month. In the post below I will explain how you can directly deploy your code using FTP. No typescript, no cloud, no version control.

Oh. My. GOD. This is what happens when you put string concatenation in a job interview! 🤦‍♂️ The interviewer asks what '2' + '2' equals, expecting a proper mathematician to say 4. But our GENIUS candidate answers "22" because in most programming languages, adding two strings with plus signs just SMASHES them together! And what does the IT department do? HIRE THIS PERSON IMMEDIATELY! Because only a TRUE developer would see quotes and think "string concatenation" instead of math. The rest of humanity is just living in DENIAL!