My Friend Told Me She Loves TypeScript

Ever wondered why your laptop fans sound like they're preparing for liftoff? Look no further than your node_modules folder! While your actual code might be a svelte stormtrooper, those dependencies are an absolute unit that would make the Death Star blush. 500 lines of your code somehow requires 500MB of someone else's code. And heaven forbid you run npm install on a weak WiFi connection – you could literally go make a sandwich, watch a Star Wars trilogy, and come back to find it still downloading the "essential" packages needed to center a div.

The real criminal here is declaring a variable that can be both boolean and null . That's like giving your function three possible states of existence when two would suffice! The triple equals comparison cascade is just the accomplice to this type-safety felony. TypeScript developers are screaming internally right now. The proper way? An enum or a proper nullable boolean with explicit handling. This code is basically begging for a runtime exception to break into your production environment at 2 AM.

Oh. My. GOD. Even when you flee to TypeScript to escape JavaScript's chaos, the React error demons STILL find you! 😱 That unholy TypeScript error is basically screaming "NICE TRY, SWEETIE, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM UNDEFINED PROPERTIES!" It's like upgrading from a haunted house to a haunted mansion - same ghosts, fancier floors! The bus to sanity has left the station, and both JS and TS are sitting there with that existential dread look wondering why they ever chose web development in the first place. THERE. IS. NO. ESCAPE.

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Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAUMA of learning TypeScript after JavaScript is like having your brain wiped by that Men in Black neuralyzer! One minute you're happily writing code without caring what type anything is, living your best chaotic JavaScript life, and then BOOM! TypeScript comes along demanding to know the EXACT TYPE of every. single. variable. you've ever created! Suddenly you're drowning in interfaces, generics, and union types while your precious JavaScript knowledge evaporates into the void. It's like TypeScript looked at your JavaScript skills and said "That's cute, now forget EVERYTHING you know about being flexible with data types!" 💀