My Friend Told Me She Loves TypeScript

Ah, the duality of developer brain function. When naming regular variables, it's absolute chaos - a street brawl of creativity where we somehow end up with monstrosities like tempVarHolder2Final_REAL . But iteration variables? Suddenly we're sophisticated diplomats at a UN summit, unanimously agreeing that a single letter i is the pinnacle of naming convention. And heaven help the junior dev who tries using index instead. We didn't spend years mastering our craft to type five whole characters.

When TypeScript sees an untyped variable, it throws a fit like your strict high school teacher. But the second you slap type:any on it? Suddenly TS is your best friend who "doesn't see a problem here." It's the programming equivalent of telling your compiler "just trust me bro" while silently sacrificing all the type safety you installed TypeScript for in the first place. The digital walk of shame every developer knows but won't admit to doing.

THE AUDACITY! JavaScript haters have been screaming about its demise for DECADES, and yet here we are, still using it to power 99.9% of the web! The meme absolutely DESTROYS the haters with that savage comeback - "If there were a better substitute, a single language would have been sufficient." BURN! 🔥 Meanwhile, JavaScript is just standing there, arms crossed, absolutely UNBOTHERED while frameworks come and go like seasonal fashion trends. TypeScript, Node.js, React, Vue - they're all just JavaScript wearing different outfits! The language everyone loves to hate but CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT!

The ultimate hipster programmer manifesto has arrived! At the top, we have the "Reject modernity" squad featuring React, Tailwind, Vue, some hipster hamster, and TypeScript—basically everything recruiters won't stop messaging you about on LinkedIn. Meanwhile, the "Embrace tradition" crew is just chilling below with HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and Python—you know, the technologies that actually keep the internet from imploding. It's like choosing between a complicated pour-over coffee ritual versus just drinking the office coffee that somehow still works. Sure, the modern frameworks look impressive on your resume, but when the apocalypse comes, who do you think will still be able to make a website work? The person who can write vanilla JS or the one who needs 37 dependencies just to center a div?

Content Backend Software Develo... D-Orbit Lisboa, Portugal in Candidatura simplificada Salvar Qualifications and Requirements Strong experience in Python programming (at least 3 years): Knowledge of asynchronous programming: Strong knowledge about Pythons' unit testing frameworks (preferably pytest); Experience in the use of Cython library for generation of python extensions; Strong experience in Java programming (preferable experience in Kotlin): Experience in maintaining Java based web applications: Strong experience in C programming; Strong experience in the use and design of REST APIs; Strong experience on event-driven architectures (pubsub pattern); Strong familiarity with Git distributed version control system; Strong experience of the use of commandline of the Linux based operating systems; Strong experience in debugging distributed applications potentially running in remote environments: Experience in agile development methodologies (e.g.. Scrum, TDD); Experience with applications that handle large datasets: Experience in implementing caching mechanisms (i.e., using Redis); Experience in NoSQL databases such as Cassandra and Redis; Experience in relational databases, namely PostgreSQL: Experience using Kafka, MQTT and Redis as message brokers: Experience in cloud-based environments, namely AWS; Experience in the definition and use of Docker containers; Experience in orchestration of docker containerized microservices using Kubernetes; Some experience in working under DevOps oriented methodologies: Pipeline definition: Test execution automation; Some experience in web application development using the microservices architectural paradigm; Experience in designing web-based applications considering the need for scalability, reliability and security; Experience with Jira framework: Experience of bash shell scripting; Experience in JavaScriptTypescript: Experience in authentication and authorization mechanisms; Experience with event bus technologies (e.g., Kafka);

That villainous grin you see? That's the face of a developer who's about to "modernize" a critical library by replacing simple binary operations with 17 layers of abstraction, five design patterns, and a dependency on three blockchain networks. The best part? Your entire codebase relies on this library, and the migration guide is just a README that says "should be backward compatible" followed by a winky face emoji. The horror isn't that they're reinventing the wheel—it's that they're replacing it with a quantum-levitating hovercraft that requires a PhD to operate and crashes if Mercury is in retrograde.