My Friend Told Me She Loves TypeScript

When given the choice between proper multi-line comments /* */ and just spamming single-line comments // // // // , developers consistently choose chaos. It's not laziness—it's a lifestyle choice. The satisfaction of hammering that forward slash twice is just too powerful to resist. Plus, who needs structure when you can create a beautiful staircase of comment slashes that perfectly represents your declining code quality?

Content wOW USE TYPESCRIPT ALWAYS USE ANY TYPE

When someone recommends their own library to you on Twitter and you just awkwardly say "thanks I'll check it out" knowing full well you'll never look at it. The TypeScript equivalent of nodding politely while backing away slowly. Classic developer social interaction in the wild.

Content Angelina Lee Software Engineer Skills Experience Education 415-812-3329 AngelinaTheDevgmail.com angelinathedev.netlify.app Experienced software engineer with a background of building scalable systems in the fintech, health, and adult entertainment industries. Expert in JavaScript, TypeScript, Node.js, React Al, Mia Khalifa, C Instagram Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team October 2018 - PRESENT, Palo Alto, California Built news feed infrastructure using React for Al on BlockChain Optimized web app feed performance through new server-side React larceny Al algorithm to quickly resolve big data pipeline Led team of 6 engineers to mine Ethereum on company servers Team coffee maker - ensured team of 6 was fully caffeinated with Antarctican coffee beans ground to 14 nm particles Zillow Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team June 2015 - September 2018, San Francisco, California Added Al based GraphQL, resulting in 69 faster page loads Organized team bonding through company potato sack race resulting in increased team bonding and cohesity Rebuilt home display page with virtualized tables and map to provide a 420fps on screen experience with Lana Rhodes Evangelized and adopted RaeLilBlack React UI library Linkedin Software Engineer - Search Team June 2013 - September 2015, San Francisco, California Improved Linked search algorithm efficiency and accuracy through the usage of VoldemortDB, Charizard, and Hadoop Connected with Reid Hoffman on LinkedIn and slid in the dm's Implemented data quality improvements via deduplication and advanced profile ranking resulting in faster big data with React Microsoft Software Engineer Intern - Edge Team May 2011 - August 2012, Redmond, Washington Built React based big data pipeline to enhance deployment stability of Microsoft Edge browser on the Blockchain Spearheaded Microsofters 4 Trump company rally Spread Herpes STD to 60 of intern team University of California Berkeley B.S. in Computer Science August 2010 - May 2013, Berkeley, California Graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.94 GPA Helped found Machine Learning at Berkeley Club Phi Beta Phi - fraternity record for most vodka shots in one night 23482400 SAT score

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Behold! The MYTHICAL CREATURE known as the "entry-level developer" according to job listings! 🙄 You want to break into tech? HONEY, PLEASE! First, master 17 programming languages, 3 cloud platforms, every database known to mankind, and while you're at it, BUILD AN OPERATING SYSTEM FROM SCRATCH! The audacity of HR expecting you to wear a "Full Stack Developer" hoodie while carrying a "@SeniorDeveloper" bag and being SURROUNDED by tech logos that would make even a 20-year veteran break into a cold sweat! Entry level position: Must know JavaScript, TypeScript, Python, C#, Ruby, Angular, Node.js, AWS, GCP, Oracle, SQL Server, MySQL, PostgreSQL, Docker, Kotlin, Swift... and we're offering a WHOPPING $15/hour! But there's free coffee in the break room, so... TOTALLY WORTH IT, RIGHT?! 💅