My Friend Told Me She Loves TypeScript

Content Me: Okay coworker, how are you doing with migrating this project to a typed language? Coworker: Oh great, I just put every variable as type Any Listen here, you little shit ingflip.com

PLOT TWIST: They're ALL syntactically correct! 🤯 JavaScript is that chaotic ex who lets you declare variables in ways that would make other languages file a restraining order! Using 'let' as a variable name? SURE! Double 'var'? WHY NOT! JavaScript's like "syntax errors are just suggestions, honey!" This is why TypeScript was invented - someone finally said "I can't live like this anymore!" and created boundaries. The relationship counselor of programming languages.

Ah, the classic "Models" folder misunderstanding. Non-developers expecting glamour shots but finding TypeScript interfaces instead. Your significant other just discovered you're in a committed relationship with clean architecture patterns. The disappointment on her face says it all – she was hoping for something scandalous but only found evidence that you spend Friday nights organizing data structures. Tragic.

Content Self-driving Car Hits Robot Dog. JavaScript's NaN likely culprit. In a bizarre accident, a Tesla self-driving car hit a Boston Dynamics robot dog on a quiet suburban street. The car's driverless software is being blamed for the accident, as it failed to properly cast a string to a number, causing the car to believe the dog was a car from a competing manufacturer, which must be at all times engaged in a high- speed race to see who's best. We spoke to the car's manufacturer, who told us they are "working hard to fix the issue." "We should have migrated to TypeScript ages ago, but Bob from HR became a parent last summer and had been asking for a raise ever since," said the manufacturer. "We just couldn't justify the cost." "We never thought this would happen," they added. "NaN is, by definition, not a number, so we never thought it would be possible for nothing to cause something to happen. That's not the Christian way." The robot dog, for its part, was reportedly unharmed in the accident because its world-class Rust codebase makes it "virtually indestructible."

The eternal relationship paradox for coders. She's upset about being treated like an object, while he's literally offering to elevate her to class status. Talk about a communication breakdown worthy of a Stack Overflow question! In object-oriented programming, objects are instances of classes, so he's technically offering a promotion in the hierarchy. Sadly, his girlfriend doesn't appreciate the distinction between being instantiated versus being a blueprint. Marriage counselors should really learn programming fundamentals before taking on dev clients.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should . This code is the programming equivalent of naming your twins "Twin1" and "Twin2" then wondering why they need therapy. Using keywords as variable names, declaring const const , setting 5 = 4 , and claiming 2 + 2 === 5 is true? This isn't just cursed code—it's the kind of abomination that makes senior devs wake up in cold sweats. Future maintainers will hunt you down. Not to ask questions, but for revenge.