Look at the date on that announcement: April 1, 2025. Someone clearly understands TypeScript so well they can time travel to make April Fool's jokes from the future.
The "I understand how TS works and can parse dates" title is pure gold - because anyone who's spent more than 10 minutes with JavaScript date handling knows it's the programming equivalent of trying to solve a Rubik's cube underwater while wearing oven mitts.
Next up: Vercel announces they're rewriting Next.js in COBOL for "performance reasons." I'll believe that one too if you catch me before my morning coffee.