Don't Even Test

Ah, the classic "it's not broken, so don't fix it" philosophy taken to its logical extreme! This rickety tower of sticks and mud is somehow still standing—much like that legacy codebase written by the guy who left 5 years ago. Sure, it looks like it might collapse if you sneeze in its general direction, but hey, "The program is stable"! This is what happens when technical debt becomes load-bearing. One wrong move and you'll be spending your weekend debugging the apocalypse. The perfect metaphor for that production system held together by duct tape, prayers, and that one mysterious function nobody understands but everyone fears.

Content Spending 4 hours fixing a bug and realizing that the code you've been compiling was not the code you've been fixing

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY O toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SqUAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES, SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YouR FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTLE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YOU RESCUE ThE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID I FORGET NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU. YoU HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER YOU'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LISP YOU HAVE GO WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES, WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THEN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP. MART VIRKUS '16 toggl

Ah, the classic "let me fix this with multithreading" trap. Nothing says "I'm about to ruin my own day" quite like thinking threads will simplify your code. For the uninitiated: threading is like inviting 10 chefs to cook in your tiny kitchen simultaneously. Sure, in theory, dinner gets made faster. In practice, they're all fighting over the same knife, someone's pasta water is boiling over, and nobody remembers who put what in the oven. The punchline isn't even complete, and that's the genius part. We all know it ends with "...and now the problems are racing each other." Race conditions: the gift that keeps on giving errors that can't be reproduced in the debugger.

Who needs clean code when you can just feel it? Developers rejecting structured programming in favor of the vastly superior method of just vibing with the codebase. Sure, your code might be an incomprehensible mess that makes future maintainers contemplate a career change, but at least it has soul . The commit message? "It works, don't ask how."

Content 3rd Software Engineer Cybersecurity ... Follow 1d G Software Engineers need to be held accountable for the code they write... Too many people are careless in this industry. I think a lot of the problems regarding quality and security would be mitigated by swift legal action. If there was a real risk of being thrown in prison or sued, I imagine people would be more likely to test their code before they ship it to end users. It is not okay to be bad at your job, some mistakes should not be made. C66 55 147 comments 1 repost Like Comment Repost Send