Refactoring: The Circular Saw Of Doom

Content Me: having back pain and I don't know why Also me when debugging

Content CLEAN CODE SUSELESSIF T DOESN'TWORK 34 34 WRITING CLEAN CODE SIMPORTANT MESSY CODE THAT WORKS, BUT ISN'T MAINTAINABLE, IS JUST TECHNICAL DEBT 14 14 0.1 2 10 score 55 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

Now I understand why this game's been in Early Access for a decade. The code's a beautiful disaster - global variables everywhere, hardcoded dialogue IDs, magic numbers, and enough switch-case statements to make a CS professor weep. My favorite part is the instance_destroy() call that just... nukes something when you've had lunch with someone? Classic indie game spaghetti where nothing's refactored because "it works, don't touch it." This is what happens when passion projects grow beyond their initial scope without architectural planning. The road to game dev hell is paved with good intentions and global variables.

Ah yes, the ancient debugging technique known as "comment-driven development." Why waste precious brain cells understanding complex logic when you can just play code whack-a-mole? Nothing says "senior developer" like systematically commenting out random chunks of code until your application mysteriously springs back to life. The best part? You'll never know what you actually fixed, preserving that delightful sense of mystery for the next poor soul who inherits your codebase. It's not a bug—it's a feature that keeps future developers employed!

Remember when programmers were basically coding demigods who could bend computers to their will? Now we're just sad creatures Googling "how to center div" for the 500th time and begging AI to fix our mistakes. The golden age programmer wrote code without StackOverflow, crafted entire games in Assembly (you know, that language that makes you want to cry), manually fixed memory leaks with pointers, and literally hand-coded the software that put humans on the freaking moon. Meanwhile, modern programmers are trapped in Vim wondering why :q doesn't work, fixing one bug only to create three more like some kind of hydra nightmare, and asking ChatGPT to solve problems we should probably understand ourselves. The decline is real, folks. But hey, at least we have dark mode now.

When VS Code gets SO fed up with your garbage code that it literally calls it "ass" before rage-quitting on you. Like, not even a polite "syntax error" or "unexpected token"—just straight up roasts your entire existence and terminates the session. The sheer AUDACITY of this error message! Your code was so catastrophically terrible that VS Code had to invent a whole new insult category before dramatically slamming the door shut. The only appropriate response is that big blue "OK" button because what else are you gonna do? Argue with your IDE? It already won.