The Way I React To These Files Is Unimaginable

The React hooks hierarchy of social acceptance visualized. Poor use is literally at the party wearing a dunce cap while everyone ignores them. Meanwhile useState is getting all the attention like the popular kid, and useEffect is down there making out with someone because developers just can't resist reaching for it. The irony? The use hook (introduced in React 19) is actually pretty powerful for handling promises and context, but it's the awkward newcomer that nobody invited. Meanwhile useEffect is getting way more action than it deserves—half the time you're using it, you probably shouldn't be. But here we are, slapping useEffect on everything like it's the solution to all our problems. Classic case of sticking with what you know versus learning the new kid's tricks.

The seductive whisper of "come under the blankets, I have something to show you" takes a hilarious turn when instead of anything romantic, it's just a developer proudly displaying their bloated node_modules folder with 113,652 items taking up 120GB of precious disk space. Nothing says "I'm a JavaScript developer" quite like needing an entire hard drive just to import left-pad. The modern equivalent of "I swear this never happened before" is explaining to your PM why installing a simple date picker requires downloading half the internet.

Behold! The MOST REALISTIC tech success story you'll ever see! 🙄 Just learn JavaScript, and BOOM—instant millionaire by 17! Swimming pools! Mansions! All from a $20 book and some if-else statements! Meanwhile, the rest of us are debugging the same error for 6 hours straight and celebrating when our CSS centers a div correctly. The audacity of these LinkedIn fairy tales is the true masterpiece of fiction—more creative than any code I've ever written! Next week: "How I became a trillionaire by copying Stack Overflow answers!"

That fresh-faced "vibe coder" posing next to the tombstone of the company that hired them is just *chef's kiss* perfect. Nothing says "I'm ready to disrupt this industry" like taking selfies at the funeral of your employer's business model. Tech companies keep hiring these trendy devs who know more about aesthetic IDEs than actual algorithms, then wonder why their codebase looks like a Pinterest board that somehow runs on AWS. The burial is just a formality at this point.

Ah, the elusive "Vibe Code Cleanup Specialist" – the job title nobody asked for but suddenly everyone has on LinkedIn! What started as a joke has clearly reached pandemic proportions. It's like watching evolution happen in real-time, except instead of developing opposable thumbs, developers are developing increasingly nebulous job titles. From Finland to Colombia, these brave pioneers are fighting the good fight against... bad vibes in your codebase? Is this what happens when HR and engineering have one too many happy hours together? Next week they'll be "Quantum Refactoring Shamans" and "Legacy Code Exorcists." Remember when we just called ourselves "developers" and cried silently into our keyboards? Simpler times.

OH. MY. GOD. The IDE is not just highlighting the error—it's offering to FIX IT WITH AI! 💀 This is the digital equivalent of handing a junior dev the keys to production and saying "whatever happens, happens!" The computer is literally telling us "children doesn't exist" and then offering to write our code FOR US. Excuse me while I update my LinkedIn profile to "Former Developer" because if AI can debug React props, what am I even doing with my life?! Next thing you know, it'll be writing passive-aggressive comments about my variable naming conventions!