The Five Stages Of Developer Delusion

Oh. My. GOD! The expectations vs. reality of code audits is sending me to the GRAVE! 💀 Top panel: The pristine, politically-charged algorithm that Elon thinks he'll discover in Twitter's codebase - a smoking gun that automatically deletes Trump tweets and bans authors! Bottom panel: The absolute HORROR SHOW he'll actually find - a cursed "isEven" function with a switch statement that returns undefined for 0, false for 1, true for 2, and false for 3. With a desperate plea comment "Please don't look at this" from some poor dev who KNEW they committed crimes against humanity! The reality of tech acquisitions: you pay $44 billion only to discover the backend is held together with duct tape, prayers, and questionable logic that would make computer science professors weep uncontrollably!

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The eternal JavaScript type coercion strikes again! In the first panel, someone proudly declares JavaScript as their favorite language. But the punchline reveals why developers have a love-hate relationship with it—when you add 1 to the string "11", JavaScript helpfully concatenates them into "111" instead of doing math. Yet when you subtract 1 from "11", it suddenly decides to convert the string to a number and returns 10. This inconsistent type handling is why senior devs develop eye twitches whenever someone mentions JavaScript. It's like having a calculator that sometimes decides to spell out numbers in interpretive dance.