React Is Native Now

The perfect illustration of how a $5,000 website magically transforms into a $50 project after six layers of outsourcing! This is basically the tech industry's version of telephone game, except everyone's wallet gets progressively lighter. What starts with a clueless business owner willing to shell out thousands ends with some poor developer in India coding an entire website for the price of a pizza. Meanwhile, every middleman takes their cut while adding zero value except the phrase "I know a guy." And the best part? The original client still has no idea when their website will be ready. Spoiler alert: it won't be.

The eternal delusions of every developer who thinks they're the next Zuckerberg. We've all been there – fueled by energy drinks and hubris, building that revolutionary app that's basically just a todo list with extra steps. The "I'll sleep when it's launched" guy hasn't seen his bed since Obama was president, while Mr. "Cutting-edge Stack" is just throwing every framework he read about on Hacker News into a tech soup that would make even the most patient senior dev quit on the spot. And my personal favorite – the "just one more feature" syndrome. That's how your simple weather app somehow ends up with a built-in cryptocurrency, social network, and dating platform. Meanwhile, your GitHub is a graveyard of half-finished repos that haven't been touched since 2018.

When a React developer proudly announces they built Windows 11's start menu and someone simply asks "why," you know you're witnessing peak software development philosophy. The cherry on top is the performance question being dismissed with "I try not to let such considerations get in the way of doing great work." Translation: "Who cares if it takes 8GB of RAM to show a menu? I used my favorite framework!" And that, friends, is why your PC freezes for 3 seconds when you click the Windows button. But hey, at least some React dev got to pad their resume!

The modern developer's nightmare spelled out in logos - RETARD : R eact, E xpress, T ailwind, A WS, R edis, D eno. Someone at marketing definitely got fired for not checking the acronym before approving this stack. Imagine the CTO's face during the presentation: "Our revolutionary RETARD stack will disrupt the industry!" *awkward silence* *single cough from the back row* The irony is that individually, these are actually decent technologies. Together? Career suicide in your next standup meeting.

Folding phones: "Look at our revolutionary technology!" Web developers: *existential crisis intensifies* Just when we finally convinced clients that websites don't need to look identical on every device, Samsung drops these origami nightmares. Responsive design was hard enough with rectangles. Now we're debugging layouts that fold like a lawn chair. Media queries don't have a "bent in half" setting yet.

Just another Tuesday, paddling through the 1.3 million packages on NPM, hoping to find that magical dependency that won't introduce 300 vulnerabilities or break your entire project next week. The search continues through the endless sea of abandoned projects, cryptominers, and that one package with decent documentation but hasn't been updated since 2017. Keep rowing.