Why Am I Single: A Dependency Issue

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a Base setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print('?xml version"1.0" encodina"UTF-8" ?'. "In"):?

Content Tweet Ben Bartlett bencbartlett parent: if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? machine learning model: yes 11:33 AM 62620 from San Francisco, CA. Twitter for iPhone

The evolution of programming weapons, perfectly illustrated. Assembler is your basic knife with a scope—minimal but precise. C is just a bullet with a hammer, because who needs safety features? C++ straps five different weapons together with duct tape and calls it "object-oriented." And then there's Python, which looks like it was designed by a committee of drunk engineers who couldn't decide what they wanted, so they included everything. "Yes, it's inefficient and ridiculous looking, but look how fast I can deploy it!"

Content Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture Deep Neural etwork They're the same picture.

Ah, the classic "accidental programming genius" moment. Son spends 8 hours creating a Frankenstein's monster of Stack Overflow snippets, and Dad swoops in with the programming equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and on again?" The sheer dumb luck of suggesting an integer instead of float and watching it magically work is the digital version of hitting the TV to fix the reception. The best part? Dad has absolutely no idea why it worked either.

Content I FUCKING HATE PYTHON! I WANT TO FUCKING Strangle all Python devs who don't sign their 50 executables with a publisher and have them run out of non-system-protected directories in a production environment!