Your Null Has Been Shipped

The cybersecurity industry's dirty little secret: today's "experts" were yesterday's teenage hackers. Nothing builds credibility like a criminal record! The transition from "I hacked the school website to change my grades" to "I protect enterprise systems from nation-state threats" is just *chef's kiss* career evolution. Companies pay six figures to the same people who once downloaded RAM and told their parents that the virus came from "clicking the wrong download button." The ultimate redemption arc - from being grounded for a month to being the last line of defense against ransomware. Talk about failing upward!

That smug seal face is literally every developer who put "proficient in React" on their resume after completing a 3-hour YouTube tutorial. Nothing quite matches the serene bliss of frantically Googling syntax while your senior dev waits for that feature you claimed would be "super easy." The audacity of us all to list technologies we've merely waved at from a distance as "skills" is the foundation upon which our entire industry stands.

Content 17 You Retweeted Name cannot be blank hackSultan For the record: No one was born a developer, we all started by learning from scratch... 0:01 10 Aug 20 Twitter Web App 189 Retweets and comments 1,095 Likes 17

Guy claims his AI assistant is writing 500k lines of code in 2 months while he casually rebuilds Shopify from scratch. Sure, and I'm running NASA from my garage with a Raspberry Pi. The only thing more unrealistic than his 5000 daily AI prompts is thinking Claude would struggle with anything. Next up: "My toaster built the next Facebook, but it burns the edges of my bread."

Sacrificed a potential relationship to explain the entry point of every Java program. That tear isn't from rejection—it's from realizing you spent an hour explaining method signatures instead of making actual conversation. Sure, she now understands the sacred incantation needed to appease the JVM gods, but at what cost? Your dating life? Worth it though. Somewhere out there, she's writing her first Hello World while you're back to debugging in solitude. The curse of knowledge strikes again.

Content Doctors: Googling stuff online does not make you a doctor. Programmers: