Say Vibe Coding Again, I Dare You

Oh, the classic beginner's trap! Someone proudly announces their first "Hello World" program—the coding equivalent of learning to say "mama" as a baby—and gets mocked for being a noob. Then drops the ultimate flex: "Yeah, I wrote it in Assembly." For the uninitiated, writing Hello World in Assembly is like using a chisel and stone to write a grocery list when everyone else is using a pencil. It's unnecessarily hardcore and requires manipulating the computer at nearly its lowest level. While the cool kids are using Python with its cushy high-level abstractions, Assembly programmers are manually pushing bits around like digital coal miners. Nothing says "I'm not actually a beginner" quite like casually mentioning you're programming in a language that makes C look user-friendly.

Content Debugging a horror game

Someone just discovered that a data manipulation library named after a bear can't actually climb bamboo or sleep 16 hours a day. Next they'll tell us NumPy arrays can't bake pies and Matplotlib can't draw realistic portraits of Matthew McConaughey. Shocking revelation for junior developers who expected their import statements to summon actual animals.

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That feeling when your code compiles on the first try and you momentarily transform from sleep-deprived keyboard masher to royalty. Sure, it'll probably explode during runtime, but for these brief 3 seconds, you're basically a programming deity. The universe has made a clerical error in your favor. Enjoy it before the inevitable stack trace arrives to dethrone you.

The Windows Recycle Bin peacefully evolved for decades, minding its own business. Then Microsoft decided to start throwing Microsoft Teams and Copilot in there, because apparently that's where they belong. The joke writes itself when your own users are already planning which of your new products will end up in the trash before they even ship. Fun fact: The 2025 Teams icon and 2026 Copilot icon are already being pre-emptively deleted by developers who just want their IDE to open without launching seventeen AI assistants and three chat clients.