Programming practices Memes

Posts tagged with Programming practices

Now You Know What's Not Cool

Now You Know What's Not Cool
The sacred art of variable naming, where senior devs lecture juniors while secretly having 47 variables named 'x', 'i', and 'temp' in their own codebase. Nothing says "I've given up on humanity" quite like discovering a class named 'Mgr' with a method called 'proc' that takes parameters 'a', 'b', and 'c'. The best part? The person lecturing you about clean code is the same one who wrote that unreadable mess six months ago and has conveniently forgotten about it. The true rite of passage in programming isn't your first bug fix—it's the first time you open a file with variables like 'thingDoer' and 'data2' and seriously consider a career change.

Average Code Comment

Average Code Comment
Oh. My. God. This is the EPITOME of every code comment I've ever encountered! Just like this REVOLUTIONARY stop sign that helpfully points out "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" (in case you somehow missed the giant red octagon), developers everywhere are writing comments like: "// This is a variable" "// Loop starts here" "// Function to do the thing that the function name already clearly states" The sheer AUDACITY of stating the painfully obvious while completely ignoring the complex parts that actually need explanation! I'm having flashbacks to codebases where not a SINGLE comment explains WHY something was done, but there are 47 comments telling me that "i++" increments a counter. The TRAUMA is real!

The Endless Else-If Enjoyer

The Endless Else-If Enjoyer
The left guy is literally crying while begging for proper control flow structure, while the chad on the right just keeps stacking else if statements like he's building a Jenga tower of technical debt. Sure, both approaches work, but one of them makes your future self contemplate a career change to organic farming. After eight years as a senior dev, I've seen codebases held together by 47 consecutive else-ifs and the hollow eyes of the maintainers.

The Bell Curve Of Code Documentation

The Bell Curve Of Code Documentation
The bell curve of programming wisdom strikes again! We've got the rare intellectual specimens on both ends (14%) who actually write meaningful comments to document their thought process, while the mediocre majority (34% + 34%) proudly proclaim "my code is self-documenting!!" with that smug face we all know too well. It's the perfect illustration of the Dunning-Kruger effect in coding practices. The beginners and masters understand the value of good documentation, while the dangerous middle-grounders think their spaghetti mess speaks for itself. Spoiler alert: Future You will have no idea what Past You was thinking when debugging at 2 AM six months from now.

Sometimes I Even Remove Unused Variables

Sometimes I Even Remove Unused Variables
The duality of a developer's existence in one perfect image. On the left, we have the glorious mess that somehow passes all tests - a monument to "if it works, don't touch it." On the right, the cleaned-up, top-hat-wearing version we frantically create right before pushing to the repository. Nobody needs to know about the 17 nested if-statements and that one variable named "temp_final_ACTUALLY_FINAL_v2." Just slap on a bow tie, remove those unused variables, and pretend you wrote it that way from the start. The Git history never reveals the true horrors that occurred at 3 AM when you finally got that algorithm working.

Stop Shortening Variable Names Istg

Stop Shortening Variable Names Istg
Ah yes, the ancient programmer tradition of naming variables like you're being charged by the character. "Why use 'playerCharacterPosition' when 'pcp' works?" they say, while their IDE helpfully autocompletes it anyway. The melting yellow creature perfectly captures that internal meltdown when someone suggests using descriptive variable names. "But my fingers will get tired from all that typing that the computer does for me!" Meanwhile, six months later, nobody remembers what 'plobjcaracy' was supposed to mean, including the person who wrote it.

Catch Twenty Two

Catch Twenty Two
The eternal paradox of software development: we desperately want good documentation for other people's code, but when it comes to documenting our own? Suddenly we're that mysterious figure walking away into the cosmic void. Let's be honest—we all start projects thinking "I'll document this properly" but then deadlines hit and it's just "the code is self-explanatory" followed by angry comments six months later when even YOU can't remember how your own sorcery works. Future you will hate present you. It's the circle of dev life.

Still Better Than Nothing

Still Better Than Nothing
The image shows an empty or barely visible diagram of what appears to be some kind of device interface with the title "How programmers comment their code". It's the perfect representation of that code you inherited with exactly zero helpful comments. You know, the 10,000-line monstrosity where the only comment is // TODO: fix this later from 2014. Or my personal favorite: /* Don't touch this. I don't know why it works. */ After 15 years in the industry, I've accepted that comprehensive documentation is like unicorns—everyone talks about them, but nobody's actually seen one in production.

Globally Installed Packages Vs Virtual Environments

Globally Installed Packages Vs Virtual Environments
The eternal battle of Python dependency management summed up in one religious allegory. The devil tempts you with the convenience of globally installed packages - just one "pip install" away from corrupting your entire system. Meanwhile, Python Jesus advocates for the righteous path of virtual environments, keeping your dependencies organized and your soul clean. 105,889 globally installed packages is basically a deal with the devil that future you will have to exorcise during your next migration. The path to salvation is just a "python -m venv" away.

One Of Our Lead Programmers

One Of Our Lead Programmers
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this lead programmer! Three whole months of "vibe coding"?! You know what that means, right? Just casually writing whatever code FEELS right without any plan, documentation, or actual thought process. 💀 Meanwhile, the entire team has been having SEVENTEEN meetings about architecture patterns and proper coding standards! The face of pure shock in that meeting room must have been PRICELESS when this coding rebel just confessed to essentially throwing spaghetti at the wall for a quarter of the year! The real tragedy? His code probably still works better than the over-engineered solutions everyone else spent weeks planning. The universe is so unfair sometimes!

Both Make Sense In Different Contexts

Both Make Sense In Different Contexts
The eternal holy war of naming conventions. Left side: snake_case with verb-first style (a Java dev's nightmare). Right side: Hungarian notation with noun-first approach (makes Python devs twitch uncontrollably). Both perfectly valid until you try to collaborate with literally anyone else, at which point your git history becomes a battlefield of reformatting commits. The real question isn't tabs vs spaces—it's whether your function names read like English sentences or technical manuals.

I Was So Wrong

I Was So Wrong
First panel: Developer screaming at TDD like it's some annoying piece of paper being shoved in their face. Second panel: Reluctantly takes a bite of Test-Driven Development. Third panel: Cautiously realizes it's not so bad. Fourth panel: Dreamy eyes - "Why did I fight this for so long? My code is actually... reliable now." The journey from "tests are a waste of time" to "I can't believe I ever coded without tests" happens to the best of us. Just takes one production catastrophe that could've been prevented with a simple test to see the light!