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Content ShadowCheetah shadowcheets Javascript is weird. ('b' 'a' 'a' 'a').toLowerCase () "banana" 1:30 PM Aug 12, 2019 TweetDeck 65 Retweets 206 Likes

We've all been there. You send a casual "Good morning, I'm about to destroy the backend and DB" thinking you typed something else entirely, and suddenly your phone becomes a weapon of mass panic. The frantic unanswered call, the desperate "Deploy*" with an asterisk like that fixes anything, followed by "Applogies" (because you can't even spell apologies when you're spiraling). The best part? "Please take the day off! Don't do anything!" Translation: Step away from the keyboard before you nuke production. But nope, our hero insists on deploying anyway because apparently one near-death experience per morning isn't enough. Some people just want to watch the database burn.

The universal startup formula: someone with zero technical knowledge but a "revolutionary idea" chasing down the nearest programmer they can find. "I'll handle the business side" translates to "I'll take 90% equity while you build the entire product." The programmer's running away is the most technically accurate part of the whole scenario. Just another day where someone thinks their Uber-but-for-dog-walkers concept is worth billions while the implementation is apparently just "some coding stuff."

Content ME WAITING FOR MY CODE , TO COMPILE DURING HOME OFFICE

The classic "it works but I have no idea why" scenario. Your code's like that bird—technically flying, but in the most chaotic, physics-defying way possible. After 15 years of coding, I've learned the sacred rule: when something works through pure accident rather than design, you just back away slowly and leave it alone. Ship it. Document it as "proprietary algorithm" and never speak of it again. The right side is what happens when you try to "clean up" that spaghetti code that was somehow working.