Reading Code I Wrote Years Ago

The eternal developer dilemma: you score your first dev job, celebrate with plans to finally buy that RTX 4090 you've been eyeing for months... then reality hits. That sweet paycheck suddenly doesn't look so impressive when you realize you'll be eating ramen for 30 days straight just to afford your new silicon baby. The transition from "I'm gonna be rich!" to "Wait, taxes exist?" happens faster than a poorly optimized algorithm. But we still buy the GPU anyway. Because priorities.

Someone really looked at their codebase and said "let's make one class do literally everything." Entity, DTO, Domain Model, API Contract, AND Kafka Message? That's not code reuse, that's architectural Stockholm syndrome. Sure, you saved yourself from writing a few mappers, but now your database entity knows about your message broker, your API exposes internal IDs, and your domain logic is coupled to JSON serialization annotations. Good luck explaining to the new junior why changing a Kafka field breaks the database migration. The tears in that meme? Those are from the poor soul who has to refactor this nightmare six months later when requirements change. Separation of concerns died so you could avoid writing three extra classes.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute BETRAYAL of discovering YOU are the villain in your own codebase! 😱 There you are, hunting down the monster who wrote that spaghetti nightmare from 2019, ready to unleash your righteous fury—only to find your own digital fingerprints all over it! The way Kratos says "There is no forgiving you" is LITERALLY me staring at my past self's variable names like "temp1," "temp2," and the classic "idk_why_this_works_dont_touch." The AUDACITY of past me to leave such horrors for future me to deal with! The circle of technical debt is complete, and I am both the hunter AND the hunted!

Content 106 140 votes 6 answers 522k views So this is how democracy dies.

Database Administrator's definition of "smooth migration" = server is on fire but at least one user can still log in. The rest of the team doesn't need to know about the flaming wreckage of tables and indexes above. Just smile and say "yasss" when asked if everything's fine. We'll fix it in post-production.

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