Protagonist Programmer Hiring

Ah, tech companies and their bizarre hiring criteria! Apparently, the ideal programmer isn't just someone who can write clean code—they need to be the main character of a video game called "Life."

While the first two bullet points make perfect sense (community involvement and open-source contributions), the job description quickly derails into "protagonist syndrome." Leadership in sports teams? Globally ranked gamer? Military background? What's next—"must have defeated a final boss" or "survived an apocalypse"?

This is basically tech companies admitting they're not hiring programmers—they're casting for the next Marvel movie. Sorry introverts who just want to code in peace, you clearly haven't collected enough side-quest achievements.